100 Moods Challenge
by Siren6
Summary: This is part of my LJ group's '100 Moods Challenge' where you right a story for every mood. Will mostly be Buffy/Faith with some others. Some are sad, some are funny, depends on the mood, obviously. Enjoy!
1. In Synch

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: In-synch  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Faith, Buffy  
Emotion: Accomplished  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: Set during the episode "Revelations"  
Summary: Synchronized slaying.

* * *

As Buffy back-handed the vamp in front of her, her gaze flicked momentarily over to Faith. The other slayer was pounding into the vamp's skull with a terrifying violence. Some part of her worried--hell, it always worried--that something was suppressed in her, buried, and would someday scratch its way out and turn her into something terrifying. It was the way she lost herself in the bone-cracking punches and kicks that scared her. She wasn't near-perfect with her calling because it was instinctual. There was some part of her that truly found joy in it.

As though sensing her gaze, the brunette's brown eyes, nearly black from blood-lust, met hers briefly before giving her full attention back to the fight. Buffy followed, focusing on dispatching the enemy. Before she knew it, they were mirroring each other's movements beautifully.

Faith kicked.

Buffy punched.

The vamps spun.

The women staked.

When the bodies between them turned to dust, the women stared at each other, breathing hard and thrumming with something neither could identify.

And then they both grinned and high-fived, before turning to their watcher, who could only look at them with a sense of awe and pride.


	2. Circle

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Circle  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Faith, Buffy  
Emotion: Aggravated  
Rating: PG-13  
Emotion: Aggravated  
Spoilers: Set during season 3  
Summary: Faith is getting aggravated with herself over her infatuation with a certain blonde...

* * *

Faith was sitting in a corner of the Bronze by herself on a Tuesday night, violently biting in a muffin. Why? Because she and Buffy had come here post-slay to grab a bite to eat and to work off the excess energy from the fight. Or, Faith was taking care of her hunger (well, for food) while the other slayer was out on the dance floor, taking care of the 'horny'. As much as she could without out-right cheating on her stupid un-dead boyfriend, anyway.

She took another angry bite of her muffin.

Faith had known that there'd be dancing, but she thought it would be between the two of them, not some random guy. Okay, so Faith took guys and, occasionally, women, home with her sometimes, but that was when Buffy was off with her friends. She had figured that tonight would be a Slayer-exclusive evening. She knew she wouldn't be lucky enough to get the blonde bombshell to sleep with her (although she did catch Buffy checking her out sometimes), but still... Faith was sitting in the dark corner while Buffy was in the spotlight, literally.

The guy behind her slid an arm around her middle and gyrated against her, and Faith felt her blood boil before shaking her head. Why did she care if some guy was all over Buffy? Why did she care that the other slayer noticed her at all? Yeah, they shared the same sacred calling, but they were by no means close. They were barely even friends, and they'd certainly never be lovers. So why did Faith want to march onto that dance floor and break the frat-boy's arm?

She was mulling over the envy that was twisting in her stomach, chewing thoughtfully, when Buffy looked in her direction, spotted her, and smiled brilliantly, waving for her to come over. Faith choked on her muffin, tried to save face with a bright smile of her own, and abandoned her muffin to practically run to join her, unable to keep an extra bounce in her step.

She was completely oblivious to the fact that she had literally dropped what she was doing for a chance to dance with the girl of her dreams.

All because of a smile.


	3. Coupons

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Coupons  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Anya, Giles  
Rating: PG  
Emotion: Amused  
Spoilers: Set during season 5  
Summary: A typical day at the Magic Box until a customer brings in a slip of paper that baffles the ex-demon.

* * *

Anya took her job very seriously. She ran a good business. Every day she stocked and fronted the store, vacuumed and dusted, washed the windows, wiped down the counters, answered customers questions as accurately as she could, and always delivered the service with a smile. Why? Because Anya knew the value of money. And she valued other people's money. And at the end of the day she loved putting up the 'CLOSED' sign, locking the door, and then counting the money she acquired. It was a simple system, and one that resulted in her being able to buy things. Of all the human's stupid rituals and necessities, this was one she could understand. It had a good logic.

So why a person was looking at her confused face with one of their own baffled her even further.

"Um, is there a problem with my coupon?" the man in front of her asked. Anya studied the piece of paper in her hands as though it were an alien thing. It was thin, printed on the sort of paper you normally found coupons printed on. Across it read the words "10% Off Any Purchase" and then the Magic Box's logo beneath that. But she couldn't understand why it was in existence. Was some disgruntled demon trying to exact revenge?

"Is this some kind of joke?" she asked the guy. He blinked and shook his head. Anya frowned and held the paper up to the light, as though that would give some clue as to what the hell this had been doing floating around the general public. Finding no answer, she lowered it and squared her shoulders. "There is nothing wrong with our products. I do not see why I should be giving any of them to you at a discount," she huffed. The guy in front of her began to look a bit angry. Well, he could shout and throw a tantrum if he wanted to. Anya was an ex-demon for God's sake. She was no push-over. This also made her a good business-woman.

"Listen, lady, I found that in today's paper. You have to honor it," he argued. Anya placed her hands on the counter and leaned forward until their faces were only a few inches apart. She could sense that the close proximity made the man nervous and a small part of her delighted in that. "Listen, you whining sack of meat," she growled. "I come in here every day, and work my nicely toned ass off to put this store together. I go through incredible lengths to get the products you desire to own and I price them _very _fairly. And if you think that some mis-print in a newspaper will make me give you a discount on top of that, then you are _sorely _fucking mistaken. So either buy the product at it's full but reasonable price, or please take your patronage elsewhere."

She leaned back and studied him, daring him to argue with her further. The man stared at her, wide-eyed, before taking out his wallet and handing her the money--enough to pay the full, non-discounted price. Anya smiled brightly, bagged his product and handed both that and the change to him. "Thank you! Please come again!" she beamed. The man took the bag and change, stupified, and left.

At that moment, Giles walked by and let out an excited "oh!", grabbing the coupon. "Oh, how nice! The coupons were printed today!" Anya stared at him, dumbstruck. "You're the cause of this?" she asked. He nodded, studying the print. "Of course. Business was a bit slow lately, so I figured I could lure in some customers with discounts. Nice to see it's working! Just don't forget to keep these in the register with you at the end of the day," he said, and went back to work.

Anya put the coupon in the register, not a bit shamed or humbled by the new information.

Coupons. Humans were so silly.


	4. Foundation

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Foundation  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Faith  
Rating: PG  
Emotion: Angry  
Spoilers: Set during Season 4's 'This Year's Girl'  
Summary: Faith's thoughts while looking at the ruins of the old high school.

* * *

So much ash. That was the first thing Faith noticed. She had been in a coma for eight months, so the school must have been burned down for that long. Yet there it was. Ash. You'd think that the wind would've carried it away, or maybe construction workers. A clean-up crew. Someone. But, no. Maybe they planned on just forgetting about the place. The town would turn their faces away from the eye-sore and convince themselves it wasn't there. "Such a tragedy," they'd say, but no one would look back.

Much like they had with her.

When she woke up, the first thing she'd noticed was that the light in her room was absolute shit. Just barely enough to be able to see what you were doing. And the condition of the floor she was on? Shit. The floorw were cracked. Staff was practically non-existent. There were no paintings hanging in the hallways. No chairs. No windows. And there were certainly no flowers or 'Get Well Soon' balloons or teddy bears next to her bed when she came to. No, the room was completely bare.

She knew in her gut that the Mayor was dead. If he was alive she would've woken up in a fucking spa somewhere, pampered and well-cared for. He would've been there when she woke up, that happy smile on his face. He'd tell her that, golly, she sure looked good! Must've been all that beauty sleep! And she would've found eight months worth of cards and other little gifts. And he would've told her how worried he'd been about her, but how he knew she'd pull through, because that's the kind of girl she was: strong and a survivor. And he'd tell her not to worry because she was safe now and no one would hurt her ever again.

But there was no one there when she woke up. No one told her she was alright. That the nightmares were over. That she was safe. No, she was on her own again. The streets were the same. Nothing had changed. The only things worse for wear were her, and the building in front of her. It was completely and utterly destroyed. The only thing left standing, really, was the foundation.

She imagined her boss there, giving his speech to the graduating class. She wondered if he mentioned her. If he thought about her much before he died. If maybe she was the _last _thought he had before he died. Had he been proud of her? Had he missed her? Had he saught revenge on Buffy and the others?

Her blood boiled at the thought. Buffy had taken everything from her. Her rightful calling, her own life, and the only person who'd ever really cared for her at all after her Watcher died. She had taken everything and left Faith with nothing. Nothing but a bare hospital room and the foundations of an old high school.

She inhaled deeply, feeling the wind pick up a bit and toss her hair. She would make the other woman suffer as much as she'd suffer. Somehow, she'd get it done. Misery loves company, and Faith was looking to share.


	5. The Hot Pocket

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: The Hot Pocket  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Faith, Andrew, Buffy  
Rating: PG-13  
Emotion: Annoyed  
Spoilers: Set during season 7.  
Summary: Andrew approaches Faith about eating his last Hot Pocket. Lack of manliness ensues. :)

* * *

Andrew looked at his empty box of Hot Pockets for inspiration. It was clearly marked. And though Faith had dropped out of high school, he was fairly certain she could read. So she had seen the box, clearly marked 'Andrew's' and had blatently ignored it. And not only had she eaten one of his Hot Pockets, she'd eaten the _last _Hot Pocket. With the town basically shut down and the end of the world just around the corner, who knew when he'd be able to enjoy his favorite food ever again?

At the wave of dismay that washed over him at that realization, he took a deep breath, steeled himself, and walked into the living room. Faith was sprawled out on the couch, reading a comic and licking her fingers. _Probably enjoy the remnants of my Hot Pocket, _he thought in annoyance. These Slayers and Slayers-in-training just waltzed in and thought they could take whatever they wanted! Well, not this time! No sir!

He cleared his throat loudly, and Faith looked up at him expectantly. "What's up, half-pint?" she asked. Andrew held out the box and Faith waved it away. "No thanks, dude. Just ate." He frowed and flipped the box upside down, showing it was empty. "Yes, I know. You ate the last one," he accused. She cocked an eyebrow, amused. "And?" she prompted. He huffed and crossed his arms, growing frustrated. "And it was clearly marked 'Andrews--Do Not Touch'. You disregarded it and disrespected me and my property," he babbled in a less-than-manly rush.

Faith studied him for a moment before smirking, shaking her head and turning her attention back to her comic. Andrew, determined not to be put-off, decided to channel a bit of Spike and blurted out, "you don't have to act like such a bitch."

That got her attention.

She sat up, tossing her comic aside. "What did you call me?" she asked, eyes narrowed. Andrew looked a bit surprised at himself and blinked, unsure and growing a bit afraid. "A bitch?" he supplied. Faith looked thoughtful for a moment, then stood up and began cracking her knuckles. "Well, Andy, I gotta say, you have bigger balls than I gave you credit for." Andrew smiled tentatively. "R-really?" he asked. She nodded. "Yup. And while I respect that, and apologize for eating your Hot Pocket, I'm gonna have to remove them." Andrew paled and took a step backwards. "What?" Faith shrugged. "I got a rep here, you know? The tweens start hearing that you can talk to me like that and then before you know it, it's chaos."

Sensing that she might be serious, Andrew dropped the empty box, turned, and ran like hell. Faith followed calmly after.

"BUFFY! STOP HER! SHE'S GONE PSYCHO AGAIN!"

Buffy peered out from the kitchen to see Andrew tearing across the house with a look of pure panic on his face.

"Faith?"

"I got it, B."

She saw Faith stroll after him, calm as could be. Buffy frowned, shrugged, and turned back to the fridge.

"Anyone know what happened to the Hot Pockets?"


	6. Fear of Falling

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Fear of Falling  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Buffy, Faith  
Rating: PG-13  
Emotion: Anxious  
Spoilers: Set during season 3's 'Amends'.  
Summary; Faith's thoughts as she waits outside Buffy's house.

* * *

Faith had no idea what the hell she was thinking. She'd been a wreck ever since Buffy left her apartment. Well, more like ever since Buffy had _entered _her apartment, but she was pretty good at putting up an 'I could care less' front, and thankfully the blonde had bought it. Kind of. She could tell Buffy knew that she didn't really have other plans. There was no party to go to. She was going to spend Christmas alone in her shitty Motel room, watching old re-runs and eating popcorn. Vamps weren't out much during the holidays, so her funds were running low. She was living off the stuff now.

She knew Buffy's mom had made her invite her. But Joyce was really nice like that. But Faith's pride, damn it, wouldn't let her accept the invite. That, and she was still wicked pissed off. Buffy hadn't trusted her enough to tell her about Angel, or keep her in the loop. And then that 'Watcher' had gone and stabbed her in the back, too, and her heart and ego felt bruised. The last thing she wanted to do was spend Christmas with the Summers women based on a pity-invite.

Oh hell, that's exactly what she wanted to do. Hence why she'd spent over an hour agonizing over what the fuck to wear. Her leathers? Too slutty. Her leapord-print pants? Too trashy. The multi-colored ones she'd worn when she met Buffy? Too loud. She finally settled on a black skirt and blue blouse. She even wore stockings. That shit was classy, right?

She even straightened her hair in an attempt to look extra nice. Not that Buffy would notice, but, she could hope. She ignored the part of her that was yelling at her for even caring whether the blonde would notice. Finding gifts was another event altogether. What the hell was she supposed to get them? She couldn't just show up empty-handed. It was Christmas for fuck's sake. She wasn't accustomed to really celebrating the holiday, but if someone was gonna be nice enough to offer to let her spend it with them, she better damn well have a present ready.

She settled on some candy for Joyce and as for Buffy... Well, she only really had one thing of value, and that was a necklace that her original Watcher had given her. She'd given it to her for good luck, and it'd brought her this far, so she figured that maybe Buffy would appreciate it.

She spent a good half-hour clumsily wrapping the things. She had no talent for detail. Oh well. The walk to her house, she went over her excuse for showing up again and again. The party got cancelled? She blew them off to hang out with B? Or maybe she'd just tell the truth and say, 'there was no party. You really hurt my feelings, but I wanna be friends, so let's just get past it?' Everything she imagined just sounded dumber and dumber.

And now here she was, standing in front of Buffy's front door, crappy gifts in hand. She'd been standing there for fifteen minutes and had yet to ring the damn doorbell. She'd faced Kakistos and wrestled alligators naked. So why the hell was she scared shitless?

_Come on, Lehane! Grow a pair and ring the fucking bell! Get it over with!_

Taking a deep breath, she rang bell and waited.

Half a moment later, the door opened, revealing Buffy (whom she thought looked beautiful).

Buffy looked surprised, but happy, and Faith let out the breath she'd been holding and smiled.

"Hi."


	7. Little Stranger

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Little Stranger  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Buffy, Faith, Angel  
Rating: PG-13  
Emotion: Apathetic  
Spoilers: Set during season 3's 'Earshot'.  
Summary: Buffy accidentally overhears Faith's thoughts.

* * *

Buffy was standing outside the Bronze. Some part of her had reasoned that the loud music would help to block out the voices in her head. Sadly, she was wrong. The bass pounding in her bones helped to create a little distraction, but everyone's thoughts still rang clearly in her mind. And by now it's wasn't just crowded, it was downright claustrophobic. She rubbed at her throbbing temples and walked inside. If she couldn't find some peace, she could at least grab a drink and head home.

She took off her coat and took a seat at the bar. After ordering a coke, she turned and scanned the dance floor for her friends. She knew they'd be at the library, researching a way to save her sanity, but some small part of her hoped they'd be here. She felt incredibly lonely. Everyone was afraid to be in the same room with her. Giles, Willow, Xander, even her mom. She couldn't get a read on Angel, but he was out hunting for answers, too.

Everyone was trying so hard to help her, and no one realized that she really just needed some company. Everyone was talking in her head, but no one would listen to what _she _had to say. Not that she'd really stuck around, either. She wanted space, and she wanted comfort at the same time. How confusing. She wondered, for a very brief moment, if that's how _she _felt.

As if summoned, Buffy felt a tingle run up her spine, and her skin grew hotter. She turned around to see Faith stroll through the entrance, stretch and head over towards the dancefloor. She was dressed in her leathers and a black tank top and her hair was tousled. She looked beautiful as she made her way to the center of the masses.

Curious, Buffy focused on her. The first thing she picked up was an incredible sense of loneliness. It was overwhelming, really. There was no smile on Faith's face, but she certainly didn't look lonely or sad. As she probed a bit deeper she came in contact with a sense of anger, hate and self-loathing. This shocked the hell out of the blonde, because if Faith ever seemed anything, it was confident. Hell, she was downright cocky when she wanted to be. So where all this self-hatred was coming from, Buffy wasn't sure.

But once she'd probed that far, it came pouring into her mind in waves. The guilt, the fear, the depression, the _want_-- Faith was craving acceptance so badly. But at the core of it all, the thing that really scared Buffy was that there was nothing. Where there should've been something, the essence of Faith, there was nothing. It was empty. She just didn't care about anything. That darkness that was layered on her, and that fear, had completely overwhelmed her and eaten away at her until there was nothing left. The person dancing with such abandon was completely hollow. It was fake.

Buffy was sure that if she ever tried to reach out to the younger woman she'd never be able to reach her. Not through all that pain and suffering and hate. Faith was lost to it. And part of her was deeply heartbroken to realize it. And guilty. Maybe if she'd tried harder...

And then the ain pierced through her skull again and nearly knocked her off her seat. Buffy pushed her drink aside, stood up and stumbled to the exit. She needed to get home. She needed her friends to pull through and find a way to fix her before she lost her own mind.

As she left, Faith caught a glimpse of her. And if Buffy had focused in on her at that moment, she would've caught a flicker of longing and remorse, and the whisper of a name from the core of Faith's heart.

_Buffy._


	8. Ink

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Ink  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Buffy, Faith  
Rating: PG-13  
Emotion: Artistic  
Spoilers: Set post season 7.  
Summary: Faith convinces Buffy to get a tattoo.

* * *

"Faith, I really don't think this is a good idea. Can't I just treat myself to a new wardrobe?" Buffy whined. Faith rolled her eyes and flipped through the artist's book. "B, we thwarted the ultimate Evil. I don't even really know what the hell 'thwarting' is, but I know it's bad-ass, and that's what you are: bad-ass. Now you just gotta have something to show it," she explained as though she were talking to a small child. The blonde pouted and looked at the photos and sketches of tattoos.

"But does it have to be something so...permanent?" Faith tugged another book of sketches over and skimmed the pictures. "Our calling is permanent, Twinkie. The memories of the people who died in that fight are permanent. Wardrobes go out of season and change. A tattoo is a monument. It's supposed to be permanent. So quit your whining and help me pick something out for you," she said, and her tone hushed any other arguments Buffy could think of.

She really had no idea why she agreed to this. Well, yes she did. Faith had wanted to take her out to bond, and she'd agreed, thinking they'd go clubbing or shopping. When someone says, "I wanna treat ya to something" you think 'ooh! Clothes!' or 'ooh! Food!' not 'ooh! A tattoo!' But this was Faith. She should've known better.

Relenting, she looked at the pictures with the brunette, none catching her eye. She had at least decided she would get it on the back of her neck so she could hide it if she needed to. Looking over at the younger slayer, she decided that if they were going to bond, she'd dive right into it. "So, when did you get your tattoo? And what does it mean, anyway?" Faith turned a page before looking down at her own permanent 'bad-ass' marking. She smiled fondly. "I got it after my first slay. It took about a week to convince my Watcher to sign off for me since I was under eighteen. And as for what it means? Flip the middle and fit it together. It's a yin-yang. I had it done like that to symbolize disrupted peace. It pretty much fit my whole life until that point." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Kinda fits my life until a few months ago, actually."

Buffy looked at the tattoo with a renewed sense of awe. She'd never gotten much back-story out of the darker slayer before and was touched that she was willing to share that much information with her. She also found the symbolism to be beautiful and, sadly, it had fit Faith's life pretty well. Turning her attention back to the book, she saw something she connected with and slapped her hand on the page before Faith could turn it. "Wait! Wait, wait, wait! That one!"

Faith pushed her hand out of the way, looked at it, blinked and smiled. "That one? You're sure?" Buffy nodded enthusiastically. Faith shrugged. "Alright. Hey, John, we found it." The tattoo artist took the page from the book, made a copy and adjusted it to the size that Buffy wanted. Then, he sat Buffy down on a chair, facing away from him, placed the tattoo and got his equipment ready.

"Um, Faith, is this going to hurt?" Buffy asked, ashamed that her voice shook. Faith chuckled. "You've been bitten, stabbed, beaten to a pulp and died twice and you're worried about getting a tattoo?" she asked, incredulous. Buffy scowled and crossed her arms. "Just asking," she pouted. Faith's smile softened and she took Buffy's hands in her own. "It's like slapping sunburn. And it's over quick. But the reward lasts a lifetime," she assured her.

Soon enough, the tattoo artist pressed the needle against the tender flesh of her neck and began his work. Buffy tensed and squeezed Faith's hands tightly. The outline was the worst part, but the pain faded soon enough and the endorphins and adrenaline kicked in. She didn't need to hold on to Faith's hands anymore, but she found it comforting and decided to indulge herself and keep their fingers entwined. She didn't know why holding onto the other woman felt so right, but she figured it had something to do with the natural pain-killers her body was producing.

Her hands tingled where Faith's thumbs were rubbing small circles against them. She shivered in delight and wished she could look up at her, but her chin was tucked against her chest for John. Actually, she decided it was a good thing Faith couldn't see her face properly, or she would've seen the light blush on her cheeks and the questioning in her eyes.

It's just the endorphins. That's all. That's the only reason why holding Faith's hands feels so damn good. Not anything else. I mean, it's not like I **like **her or anything. I mean, I like her well enough but I'm not attracted to her, that's for sure. For one thing she's a girl, and that's Willow's area, and for another, it's FAITH. I just don't...

"B, it's over."

She was brought out of her reverie with a light squeeze of Faith's hands. John was cleaning the area and before she knew it, he'd placed a mirror in her hands to help him see his work. She held the mirror above her shoulder and looked inside, amazed and extremely satisfied with how it came out.

Tattooed on her neck was a lovely flower inked with deep, lucious colors, and a banner wrapped around the stem which read 'Faith, Hope, Love'. She smiled brightly and congratulated John on his work. Faith handed him the cash, and they grabbed their coats and left the shop. "Hold on a sec, lemme see it?" Faith brushed a few stray hairs away from the tattoo as she studied it, nodding. "It came out great, B." Buffy blushed, and felt self-conscious that now the other woman could see it. "Well, I'm a sucker for flowers." Faith cocked an eyebrow. "And the banner?" Buffy smiled warmly. "Those three things have gotten me through the war," she explained. Her heart warmed at the blush that spread across Faith's cheeks.

She looped her arm through Faith's, telling herself it was out of comraderie and not a need for more contact, and pointed down the street. "And now I treat YOU to a reward. And that reward, Faith, is a new outfit which I will pick out." She laughed at the look of horror on the younger woman's face. "I get you something wicked-awesome that's gonna last a lifetime and you're gonna make me into a mallrat? What the hell did I do to you? Can't you just send me back to prison?" Buffy patted her arm reassuringly. "Oh, Faith. Don't worry. It won't hurt much and it'll be over soon. And I promise to hold your hand if you get scared." Faith suddenly look a lot less fearful and a lot more eager and grinned.

"Promise, B?"


	9. Easier

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Fix You  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Rating: R  
Characters: Buffy, Faith  
Emotion: Awake  
Spoilers: Set during season 7's 'Dirty Girls'.  
Summary: Buffy contemplates Faith's return.

* * *

Buffy wanted to slap Willow.

She couldn't believe her best-friend hadn't warned her that Faith was coming back. Sure, the Wiccan had assured her that Faith was on their side again. That she was walking the path to redemption and had only broken out of prison to help Angel (part of her seethed with jealousy that they'd call on Faith for that instead of her). And sure, she'd antagonized Faith and baited her, hit her, even, and the brunette didn't lift a hand to defend herself or strike back. By all accounts, she'd changed.

But that didn't change the way Buffy felt.

She didn't want to know that Faith had changed. She didn't want to know that the brunette was trying to redeem herself, or that she'd come to help. She didn't want to know any of it because hating Faith was easier. And how dare she? How dare she think she can just waltz into _her _town, beat up _her _non-boyfriend and then sleep on _her _couch all the while having recieved forgiveness from all of _her _friends? Who the hell did Faith think she was?

And yet, even though hating Faith was much easier and less confusing, she couldn't help the guilt that was gnawing at her insides. She'd accidentally walked in on Faith getting changed and had seen the awful condition of her body. Willow relayed some of the story involving Angelus to her, but she hadn't described the beating Faith must've gotten. Bruises, gashes, ugly, ugly markings covered her from nearly head to toe. And to top it all off, there was the angry-looking bite mark on her neck. Angelus had fed from her. And Buffy knew from experiance how much that hurt.

And when Faith realized she was being watched, she didn't yell or slam the door in Buffy's face. She actually looked embarassed and ashamed and held her shirt to her battered chest and demurely asked Buffy to close the door. The blonde had never seen her act like that before and didn't know what to think, except that she wanted to pull the younger woman into her arms and comfort her.

And that was purely unacceptable.

Faith made everything complicated. She stirred up feelings in Buffy that she didn't want to acknowledge and cope with. Hate, lust, anger, guilt, remorse. Buffy wanted to beat her and fuck her. Love her and hate her. Console her and berate her. Things were definitely easier when the darker slayer was, well, darker. The new and improved Faith was an enigma.

And to top it all off, here it was, two in the morning, and Buffy couldn't sleep. She was sitting on the porch instead, with a cup of rancid coffee, contemplating Faith. She felt like she was in high school all over again.

"Hey, B."

Buffy jumped slightly and hated herself a little for not sensing Faith approaching. The younger woman stood beside her and looked out at the eerily quiet street. She looked exhausted and unsettled, and her arms were crossed over her chest warily. After a moment, Faith began talking.

"I was having this dream about a girl. She got stabbed," she explained in a hoarse voice. Buffy wondered if maybe she'd been crying. Faith fidgeted uncomfortably. "At first I thought the girl was me. I'm used to having those 'being stabbed' dreams. But it wasn't. It was someone else. And she was younger. And I got the feeling that it wasn't a dream. It was real." She looked over at Buffy and it was then that the blonde noticed the haunted look in her eyes and the dark circles under them. "Something told me, 'from beneath you it devours'. I ain't had a nightmare like that in a while, B."

Buffy found this hard to take in. Faith had had a nightmare and was scared, and had come to Buffy for comfort, whether she said it or not. Again, those confusing feelings. She wanted to tell Faith off so badly, or to just tell her that it was reality, unfortunately, and to deal with it. But she couldn't. "It was real. But you're here now, and we're going to stop it," she assured her. Faith looked a bit surprised. Maybe she'd expected a harsh reaction from Buffy as well. But she was pleased with the response nonetheless.

"Yeah, B. The Chosen Two, back in action," she said with a tentative smile. Buffy found that she couldn't return it, and she watched as Faith's slipped from her face. She cleared her throat. "Okay. So, I'm gonna hit the couch again. See if I can catch some more sleep before the brat brigade is up and running." She offered one last tight grin before walking back into the house. Or 'sauntering' might be a better turn. Faith never simply walked anywhere. Her walk practically dripped with sex. She took another sip of the crappy coffee and grimaced, more at the fantasies of Faith naked than at the terrible drink.

Oh, yes. Hating Faith would be so much more simple.


	10. Settle for a Little

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Settle for a Little  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Rating: PG-13  
Characters: Buffy, Faith, Angel  
Emotion: Bitchy  
Spoilers: Set during Season 3's 'Enemies.  
Summary: Faith muses before Buffy goes on her date with Angel.

* * *

"So, I'll meet you after the movie, then?"

Faith couldn't do anything but bite her tongue and force herself to nod. After all, she was still supposed to play the good-girl, the supportive friend. And that's what friend's did. They met up after dates and gossiped and killed vampires.

Christ.

Faith wasn't good at this. It was hard enough pretending to be Buffy's friend while she was plotting against her. But to pretend to be supportive of B's sham of a relationship with that undead beef-stick? It made her sick to do it. She wanted to shake the blonde and ask her what the fuck sort of future she thought she'd have with the guy. She'd grow old and die. He'd look do-able and live forever. Not only that, but he was a vampire and she was a vampire slayer. They were supposed to dust his kind, not go on stupid dates with them!

She knew Buffy and Angel had a history together, albeit a messy one. But come on. The brunette felt like waving her arms and shouting "I'm right here! Pick me, stupid!" But what good would that do? Buffy didn't swing that way, as far as she knew, and besides, Faith's boss was planning on killing her soon.

Her stomach clenched painfully at the thought, but she ignored it.

So, instead of telling her exactly what she thought, she had sat in Buffy's room (it was torture, being surrounded by the smell of her and having her so damn close) and watched as the blonde went through her closet trying to find something to wear (although watching her get changed was a treat). She watched as Buffy agonized over getting her appearance just-right and fretted about whether or not she was lagging. Faith found it painfully adorable, and also painfully familiar. She'd gone through the same routine before swinging by the blonde's house, although she'd had no one in her apartment to playfully mock her or help her out.

That's what friends were for, and she didn't really have any.

"Faith?"

The brunette blinked and shook the hurtful truth from her head and forced a smirk. "Sorry, zoned out a sec. What'd you say?" she asked. Buffy looked concerned for a moment, but only a moment, and reminded Faith again that they would meet up after she and Angel got out of the movies. Faith didn't need to be reminded. She was subconsciously counting down the minutes until she could steal the blonde away.

"Yeah, B, I heard ya. I'll meet ya around ten and we'll hit the cemetary. But, ah, you sure you don't want another hour to yourselves? Movie-dates tend to get a bit hot and heavy. And you and soul-boy kinda have that spark." She meant to say the last part in a friendly tone, but the bitterness slipped through. Buffy was too busy looking forlorne to notice. "No, so a non-issue. I mean, Angel and I can't... With the curse and all..." Buffy's face fell, and Faith hated the guilt she felt for it.

"Yeah, well, ain't the love worth it and all that good shit? Better a little than nothin' at all, right?"

Buffy offered a small smile and nodded. "In the long run, yeah. I guess you're right."

They looked at each other a beat, and Faith felt like she should say more, tell her that she wouldn't just have to settle for a little with her. She'd have it all.

But then Buffy looked at the clock, got wide-eyed, and grabbed her coat. "Crap. See you at ten!" she said, and dashed out the door.

Faith sat on Buffy's bed a beat, caught a glimpse of her reflection in Buffy's mirror, and faught the urge to destroy everything in the room around her.

Instead, she grabbed her own jacket and left, taking care to close the door behind her. Something told her she'd never see it again.


	11. Only Meant Well

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Only Meant Well  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Rating: PG-13  
Characters: Buffy, Faith, Spike, Wood  
Emotion: Blah  
Spoilers: Set during season 7's 'Touched.  
Summary: Faith's thoughts after sleeping with Wood.

* * *

Faith always knew she'd wind up in Buffy's bed.

She just never figured it'd be with someone other than Buffy.

She looked over at the man sleeping next to her. He was nice. He had good stamina. He was decent in the sack. He took her mind off things for a little while.

So why was she laying in bed, with the hornies taken care of, and she still couldn't stop her mind from staying locked on a certain blonde?

Guilt for Buffy being kicked out was eating up her insides. Heartache at seeing the other Slayer cry was killing her. Buffy thought she was loving it. Loving finally having the attention, the friends, the approval, the spotlight. The other woman thought that was everything Faith ever wanted.

But it wasn't.

What Faith wanted more than anything was _Buffy's_ approval, _Buffy's_ attention, _Buffy's_... Love. The psuedo-Mayor had been right about that. It was Buffy she wanted in bed with her, helping to keep her mind off of the dangers of tomorrow. She wanted Buffy encouraging her. She wanted, for once, to not have Buffy attacking her. She hated fighting with her. She wanted a little peace.

The man next to her, Wood, had been a nice distraction. But lying here in Buffy's bed, wrapped up in her warm sheets and surrounded by her things and her scent, she felt completely overwhelmed. She knew in her gut that it should be Buffy wrapped up in these sheets, safe and sound. And where was the other woman? Sunnydale wasn't a safe place even before the Big Daddy of Evil decided to declare war. And now she was out there, somewhere.

She could feel her through their connection. She didn't know if Buffy could do the same, but she supposed it didn't really matter. She could feel the other woman's loneliness. She'd always felt it. That's why she could never really understand why Buffy always pushed her away.

Couldn't she see that Faith was only worried about her? She could see that Buffy was running on empty, driving herself into the ground. And as the Leader, she was dragging everyone else down with her. She was being reckless. And for Faith, of all people, to say that, well, that was pretty bad. But when Buffy flung those barbs at her, reminding her of all her past fuck-ups, it hurt. She knew the blonde was looking for a fight, but Faith wasn't gonna be the one to give it to her. She loved her too damn much. And she'd come too far to ever revert back to who she used to be. Buffy could hurt her all she wanted, Faith would never raise a hand to her again.

Wood shifted in his sleep beside her, and it startled Faith out of her thoughts for a moment. She realized that no matter what, her thoughts would just keep going in circles, leaving her sleepless. She kind of wished that Wood would wake up so she could fuck him again, maybe take her mind off things some more. He wasn't that bad. And he was pretty cute. He was the first guy she hadn't kicked out of her room immediately after achieving an orgasm. Aside from Xander, he was the only one she'd let stick around for some post-fucking cuddling. She usually wasn't into that kind of lovey-dovey spooning crap (although she'd imagined it with Buffy), but there was something about tonight that was making her crave contact with someone. And part of her was tired of chasing after Buffy. It'd been four years. She was going to have to come to her senses sometime. And was Wood really such a terrible option?

Settling down next to him, she felt him slip a muscled arm around her waist and pull her flush against his torso--scarred, like hers. She tried to relax, but felt a shift in the connection to the other Slayer. Buffy's loneliness had abated a lot, and Faith faught down the jealousy that clawed its way through her stomach. She had a feeling that Spike--Peroxide Fucker--had found her. Whatever.

She closed her eyes, forced herself to ignore the connection to Buffy, and focused on feeling absolutely nothing.


	12. Forget to Remember

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Forget to Remember  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Rating: PG-13  
Characters: Buffy, Faith  
Emotion: Blank  
Spoilers: Set during after season 3's 'Enemies.  
Summary: Buffy contemplates Faith's betrayal.

* * *

Buffy told herself that the information they gained from tricking Faith had been valuable.

_"You played me! You **played** me!"_

She shut her eyes against the sound of Faith's voice, so angry and so hurt, echoing in her mind. Hadn't Faith been playing them for months? She thought of the flicker of pain behind the brunette's eyes as she talked about her mom, and how she'd been an alcoholic and abusive. She thought of how Faith, even while preparing to torture her, and looked like she wanted for her so badly to care.

She thought about the shiver that ran up her spine when Faith pressed her lips to her forehead before running away. Hadn't she been wondering for a while how Faith's lips would feel? She knew now that they were soft, but unyielding. Burning. Didn't Buffy's forehead burn, like she bore the Mark of Cain?

She thought about how Faith had gone through so much trouble to hurt her. To punish her. Part of her wondered why. The rest of her already knew. She thought about the guilt written on Angel's face. The remorse. Always so remorseful.

She thought about how Faith could possibly turn to the other side. And then she wondered how she couldn't.

Buffy thought about how she should be feeling something, be it anger, sadness, guilt, pain, anything.

But inside she felt absolutely nothing. She couldn't. Her heart and mind couldn't handle it. And part of her was grateful, because when she did allow herself to feel, she knew it would be terrible and some small part of her would die. And so instead she sat on the rooftop outside her window, as she had so many times the past few years, and acknowledged that somewhere inside a fire had gone out.


	13. The Seduction of Boredom

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: The Seduction of Boredom  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Rating: PG-13  
Characters: Buffy, Faith  
Emotion: Bored  
Spoilers: Set during season 3  
Summary: Buffy's studying, Faith's bored.

* * *

_Poke._

"Faith, stop it."

_Poke._

"Faith, I'm trying to study. C'mon."

_Poke._

"Faith, you do that one more time, and I swear to God, I'm going to kick your ass."

_...poke._

Buffy whirled to face the younger slayer, annoyance written on her features. Faith looked away, arms suddenly crossed. Buffy bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing and let out a sigh. "Is there a reason you won't let me study? Because I have a french test tomorrow that's gonna murder me if I don't at least attempt to know this stuff." The brunette fidgetted uncomfortably and pouted. "I'm bored," She whined. Buffy rolled her eyes. "Then go find something to do. I have to do this," she said and turned her attention back to her text book.

After a few moments of silence, the blonde let herself get immersed in her task again. She tried to concentrate. She really, truly did. But she couldn't help but wonder what Faith had found to do now that the room was suddenly so quiet and she wasn't being poked. Against her better judgement, she looked up to see bending over to look at a few of Buffy's stuffed animals. She couldn't help but admire the position Faith was in, and then realized she was happily oggling the woman's ass and slapped herself mentally.

_Quit looking at Faith's yummy ass and concentrate!_

_Oh my God, did I just think of Faith's ass as 'yummy'? What's wrong with me?_

"B? You okay over there?"

Flushing crimson, Buffy refused to meet Faith's gaze. "Uh, yeah. Why?" The brunette cocked an eyebrow and smirked. "You zoned out there for a second. Aren't you supposed to be studying?" The blonde scowled at being caught. "I am. I was thinking about the answer."

After a few more minutes, Buffy risked another glance and found Faith sitting across from her, leaning forward to look at the text book. But the way she was leaning over, she was offering the blonde a clear view down her shirt. And, Buffy had to admit, it was a nice vantage point.

"B? You're zoning out again. And I can also guarentee you that the answer is probably not down my shirt."

Buffy couldn't blush any more than she did in that moment. She was also at a loss of what to say. "I, um, that is... Well, why do you have to be sitting like that, anyway?" Faith laughed at that and sat back a bit. "Sorry, twinkie. I was just bored." Buffy sent her a glare and looked back at her book. It was useless. Studying was impossible with that sex-bomb in her room. On her bed. Flaunting her incredible body that Buffy would never, ever, admit to thinking about. "Well, go find something else to do," Buffy growled.

A beat.

_Poke._

"Faith!"


	14. Shimmer

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Shimmer  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Buffy, Faith  
Emotion: Bouncy  
Rating: PG-13 Spoilers:  
Set post-season 7.  
Summary: The group decides to head out for the first time since the fall of Sunnydale. Faith is beyond psyched.

* * *

"Hey, B, can you put the pedal to the medal and, you know, haul-ass a little bit?"

Buffy rolled her eyes as she adjusted her top, pleased with the way it hugged her body in all the right places. Faith had been rushing everyone for the past hour. She knew the younger slayer was eager to go to the club, but it was getting a bit annoying. "Faith, calm down. We're almost ready. And besides, it's only eleven. The club is open 'til two in the morning. We'll have plenty of time to dance. So chill," the blonde chided.

Faith chewed her lower lip in a way that Buffy found exceptionally adorable. "I know, but... I mean, everyone's dressed and ready to go. You're the only one that's not. So can you _please_ hurry up?" she begged, shifting her weight from foot to foot eagerly. Her dark eyes were large and pleading. She'd never seen Faith so excited before. "Geeze, have you really been cooped up that long?" Buffy laughed. Faith flipped her off and crossed her arms sullenly. "Yeah. Sorry to bust your bubble, twinkie, but I'm not exactly domesticated. I gotta get out and move around a bit. And I know you've been itching to work off a little energy too," she said and grinned cheekily. Buffy found herself blushing crimson for some reason and cursed herself for it.

"Fine, fine, fine. I'm just about ready. But, can you do me a favor?" Faith nodded, uncrossing her arms and walking further into the bedroom. "Whatcha need, babe?" she asked. Buffy reached into her closet and pulled out a white tank top. It shimmered slightly every time it caught the light, and she handed it to Faith. "Put this on. What you're wearing now is beyond trashy, and I refuse to be seen with you looking like you do now." Faith took the garment and stared at it as if it'd just sprung two heads and a tail. "But... Wait, who cares what I'm wearing? It's the fucking club, not church."

Buffy chuckled. "I know, but I think it's time we updated your wardrobe a little bit. Don't worry, you'll still be one of the hottest people there. Maybe even more so once you put this on." Faith cocked an eyebrow, looked as though she might argue, then shrugged and took off the black top she was wearing. Buffy tried not to notice the way her muscles moved beneath her skin (_panther_, her mind whispered), or how beautiful she was. She also tried to push away the wave of guilt she felt at seeing the pale scar, slightly raised, on Faith's perfect stomach. They were past that now, she reminded herself.

Faith then took the white tank and put it on, tugged it into place and looked at her reflection on the mirror. It went well with her black leather pants, and shimmered beautifully when she moved. Buffy smiled softly, feeling a swell of affection for the younger woman. "You look stunning," she murmured. Faith blushed. The blonde tried not to look shocked. She didn't know Faith could blush. "Thanks," the brunette muttered.

"So, we agree I look good, but do I look fuck-able?" Buffy laughed, the intimate moment gone, and nodded. "Faith, you could be wearing a trash bag and still look fuck-able," she assured her. Grinning, her confidence back in place, Faith looped her arm through Buffy's and tugged her out of the bedroom. "Fantastic. Now can we _please_ get to that fucking dance floor?"


	15. Never Stop to Breathe

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Never Stop to Breathe  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Buffy, Faith  
Emotion: Busy  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: Set during Season 7's "Empty Places".  
Summary: Faith's observation of Buffy.

* * *

B looks exhausted. Her hair is a bit greasy. She hasn't showered in a day. And for the princess, that's unheard of. The dark circles under her eyes are testament that she hasn't slept in a while, either. After everything that went down at the wine cellar, I ain't particularly surprised. She looks like shit, and I feel my heart break a little for her.

Dawn is bombarding the blonde with questions about Xander and I can see her shoulders tense up in anxiety from the pressure. "Hey, pipsqueak, why don't you get some of the stuff you've already gotten from Giles?" I cut her off. Dawn seems to realize her mistake and has the decency to look a bit ashamed. "Or, um, we can talk about this later, maybe," she mumbles. "Okay," B murmurs, still not looking at her sister. This has me even more worried. Dawn looks a bit worried and hurt and says, "Yeah. I'll be right back," before leaving. "Try to find anything that looks like Caleb, his church, his ring..." the older woman instructs in a tired voice. Jesus, you can fuckin' hear the exhaustion. It's seeped all the way down to her bones.

"His ability to render a slayer useless in just one punch," Kennedy adds, and I have the sudden urge to punch her fuckin' head right off her shoulders. At Buffy's incredibly hurt expression, the urge to hurt the young potential gets a bit stronger. Just who the fuck did she think she was? B was trying to keep everyone alive, for fuck's sake. Kennedy's eyes grow wide as she realizes her fuck-up and she tries to stammer out an apology. "I didn't--that was stupid. I don't know why I said that," she says quickly, almost pleading.

The tears rising in Buffy's eyes make me wanna pull her into my arms and snarl at the little bitch next to me. And it's a shame, because I was actually starting to like the little runt. Although why I feel like protecting twinkie so much, I don't really know. I don't really wanna know. Oh fuck, I do know. But... Whatever. Now's not the time for that shit.

"Uh, it's. Um, I have to--I have to go to the school to pick up the rest of my stuff," Buffy offers lamely, and I can tell she's gonna break down in a minute or two. I can feel my heart clench and it hurts, and I can't tell if it's because I feel it breaking for her or because of her, because of this damn connection. Buffy stands up, and Kennedy does too. "I really didn't mean--"

"It's fine," Buffy cuts her off. She's managed to keep the tears at bay, and I gotta respect her for that. "Really, it's fine. Don't worry about it. Hey, uh, isn't Anya doing that thing for you guys today?" She offered Kennedy a smooth exit. She better take it, if she knows what's good for her. Although me and that brat are gonna have a little talk later about tact. Or maybe not. I'm not really the best at that shit either. Kennedy siezes the opportunity and nods. "Yeah, we were. We should probably head down there now." Buffy forces a smile, and I hate seeing it. It looks wrong, that fucking mask.

"Okay. I'll be back soon." Kennedy leaves, and for a moment, it's just the two of us. As soon as they're gone, so is that mask, and the exhausted slayer is in front of me again. I wanna tell her to sit down a minute, to give herself a little while to get her shit together. But I know she won't. She's Buffy, and Buffy doesn't rest until the Big Bad is smacked down. 'Cause that's what heroes do, I've realized. They're always working, working, working, and never stop to breathe.

She looks at me then, those green eyes looking so much older than they should. I know that my own look the same. I wish we didn't have that in common. "See that everyone else gets started on this," she says. We hold each other's gaze for another beat, and then she's gone. I open the file in front of me and begin to read it. I start working, and know that it's gonna be a long day and probably a longer night. But that's fine.

Because that's what heroes do.


	16. Anywhere But Here

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon. Song lyrics belong to Safetysuit.  
Title: Anywhere But Here  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Buffy, Faith  
Emotion: Calm  
Rating PG-13  
Spoilers: Set after Season 3's 'Graduation Day.  
Summary: Buffy and Faith share another coma-dream.

* * *

_Cause you are beautiful inside._  
_So lovely, and I can't see how I'd do anything without you._  
_And when I'm not with you, I know it's true:_  
_I'd rather be anywhere than here without you._  
_- "Anywhere But Here" by Safetysuit_

Part of Faith knew that it wasn't real. That she wasn't actually kneeling in the grass, tending to a garden with the one woman who had become the center of her world, both real and fictional. She knew it wasn't real because there's no fucking way she'd be tending to a garden. That shit was for people like... Well, like Buffy.

But the atmosphere was so bright and peaceful that she couldn't help but savor it. The skies were blue and clear, the colors were absolutely brilliant, it was warm and sunny, and Buffy was happily pulling weeds next to her. How could she not enjoy it a little?

"Can you hand me that pot?" Buffy asked. The brunette handed it to her and watched as the older woman prepared a hole for it. Some darker part of her subconscious whispered grave, but she ignored it. This was Buffy-time, and she never took it for granted. She studied Buffy's hands, fascinated that they somewhow managed to remain fairly clean. Faith's hands were covered in dirt. Buffy saw her studying her nimble fingers and smirked. "Dirty girl," she admonished playfully. Faith grinned cheekily. "Most definitely, but you're the one who likes to roll in it," she teased, winking. Buffy blushed crimson and murmured "shut up" before returning back to her task.

Faith wanted to ask if Buffy wanted to get her back dirty too, but decided against it. Flirting with Buffy was fun, but it usually ruined their moments. Something in the older slayer was terrified of Faith's affection, and when faced with it, the dream ended or shifted to something ugly. So instead, she looked at the plant Buffy was handling with such tender care. "What is that?" she asked. She committed the small smile Buffy offered to her memory as she answered, "morning glory." Buffy turned to look at her, and Faith felt her breath catch in her throat. The way the sun caught her hair and the way those emerald eyes sparkled, she thought to herself that she'd never loved Buffy more than she had in that moment.

"They open with the dawn. To catch the sunlight," Buffy explained. She placed the plant in the hole and covered the roots with dirt. "Gotta make sure the roots go deep enough. If you don't make sure it's secure, it won't last." Something in Faith resonated with that, but she didn't understand why. Buffy patted the dirt down, smoothing it. "Make sure to give it lots of love every day," she reminded the brunette. Faith laughed at that. "You do know it's a plant, B, right?" The blonde pouted and smacked Faith's arm. "I know that, dummy. But plants can understand us. And they grow better with love." Faith bit her lip to keep from laughing again. "Plants don't speak english, babe. They don't talk at all."

"Love doesn't have a language," Buffy argued. Something about that made Faith go quiet, and the laughter died in her throat. "I guess you're right," she said, and her tone was somber. She wondered if Buffy could be like that plant and feel the love she was sending her way. Maybe she did, because for a moment, Buffy looked at her. She really looked at her, and saw her. Faith could feel it in her bones. And she held her breath as Buffy lifted a hand and cupped Faith's cheek as gently as she had with the morning glory. Though neither slayer spoke, she could feel Buffy asking her, _when will you open up?_ Faith lifted her hand to hold Buffy's against her face. She never wanted to lose the feeling of her touch. So soothing and soft.

"I'm getting dirt on you," Buffy realized and started to pull her hand away. Faith held it in place, unable to let her go. "Already dirty," she said with a shrug and a small, sad smile. Something in Buffy shifted, and after a moment Faith's cheek felt cold with her hand gone. "I--I have to... With little sister coming..." the blonde stammered lamely. Faith didn't hold it against her. She knew she'd put her foot in her mouth. "See you soon?" she asked. Buffy smiled warmly and stood up, brushing her hands off on her pants. "Always," she said, and then she was gone. She simply faded.

Faith turned her attention back to the morning glory, watching in fascination as it unfolded to catch the light.


	17. Shots

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Shots  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Buffy, Faith, Willow  
Emotion: Cheerful  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: Set post-Season 7.  
Summary: St. Patty's Day has arrived and Faith is psyched.

* * *

Buffy wasn't sure how to feel.

Actually, she already had a feeling pin-pointed, and it was 'baffled'. She was watching Faith, the darker, reformed, sex-pot slayer practically _skipping _around the kitchen, decked out all in green. Well, almost, anyway. She wore a green satin tank top (which showed a gratuitous amount of her cleavage), a green skirt (which showed a gratuitous amount of leg), and knee-high black boots (which made those amazing legs look even more amazing). To top it all off, she was also wearing a green top-hat.

Buffy couldn't help but stare. She'd never seen Faith enthusiastic about anything, so seeing her so incredibly excited about St. Patrick's Day was... Well, 'baffling' was still the best description she could come up with. She watched the younger woman scour the fridge for a bottle of beer, then the cabinets for a shot glass.

"Faith, you don't do shots of beer. I know I'm not a big drinker, but I'm pretty sure you use a mug, unless you really wanna nurse that thing."

The brunette rolled her eyes as she set her finds down and went back to searching the kitchen. "No shit, B. Hey, we got any Jameson?" she asked, standing on her tip-toes to check above the fridge. Buffy snuck a look at Faith's wonderfully shaped ass before answering her question. "Um, I'm not sure. I don't think so." Faith pouted a moment before lighting up. "Hold up a sec," she said, and darted into the living room.

"Hey, G, you got any Jameson? Or at least some sorta whiskey?"

"Um, well... Check my office. Last drawer in the desk."

"Nice."

Faith then ran into the former Watcher's office. Buffy looked over at Willow and cocked an eyebrow. The red-head only smiled and shrugged. "I think it's kinda cute," she said. "I mean, I've never seen her like this before. I think I've only seen her angry or horny." Willow scrunched her face thoughtfully. "Or both," she added. Buffy smirked and crossed her arms. "This is the first time I've ever seen her, y'know, happy. Or excited about anything. At least, happy-excited, and not scared-excited," Willow mused. Buffy frowned. "What do you mean, 'scared-excited'?" she asked. Willow paled and the blonde could tell she was looking for a way out of answering. "Will?" she pressed.

The wicca looked apologetic. "Well, when we were coming back to Sunnydale from L.A. after re-ensouling Angelus. She was... Well, she looked terrified of seeing you again. And also excited. Kinda like the first day of school?" Buffy blinked, feeling a mixture of guilt and flattery. Faith had been scared and excited to see her again, and she'd gone ahead and hit her the moment she saw her. She'd told herself it was because Faith had been kicking Spike's ass, but she knew deep down it was because she'd wanted to. He'd just given her an excuse.

"You're the best, G!"

Faith came skipping back into the kitchen with a bottle of amber-colored liquor in hand, looking triumphant. "Alright guys, gather 'round!" she said, and took down a few more shot glasses. Buffy and Willow looked hesitant, but did as asked. Faith poured three shots and handed one to each of the women.

"Listen, Faith, whiskey isn't really my thing," Buffy began, but Faith cut her off. "It's St. Patty's Day, B. You can do a shot." The blonde opened her moutht to argue, but Willow intervened. "I think Faith's right. We can be a little festive," she smiled. Faith looked a bit surprised, but grateful, and grinned brightly. Willow looked at the blonde and sent her a thought she could hear clearly.  
_  
__Don't spoil this for her. Just go along with it._

At the brunette's happy smile, Buffy couldn't help but agree. "Fine. But only if we toast to something," she said. Faith shrugged. "Cool. What're we toasting to?" Buffy chewed on her lip before answering. "To new beginnings and clean slates." Willow and Faith's eyes widened, and both smiled widely. "I think I can toast to that," the red-head supported. Faith looked touched, and raised her shot glass. The women all clinked the glasses together before tossing back the whiskey.

Buffy and Willow coughed and sputtered and immediately whined about their throats and chests burning, while Faith let out a happy sigh and collected the glasses. "Thanks, guys. Awesome toast. I'm gonna head out to the pub, though. Wanna come?"

The other two women looked at each other a beat before shrugging. "Sure. Let me grab a jacket," Willow said, eyes still watering, and left. Buffy patted her chest a bit, the burning finally subsiding. "I'm not doing any more shots, though," she warned. Faith grinned cheekily. "Oh, but you gotta." She stepped closer, close enough for Buffy to smell her body wash (God, she loved that smell). Faith leaned in so she could whisper in her ear. "We have so much more to toast to," she said, her voice breathy and deep and sending the most delicious shivers down Buffy's spine.

Buffy grabbed the bottle of beer from Faith's hands. "I'll be nursing this," she said firmly, but smiled. Faith laughed and wrapped an arm around Buffy's shoulders.


	18. A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Faith, Buffy  
Emotion: Chipper  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: Post season 7  
Summary: Buffy and Faith discover the joys of picture-messaging.

* * *

Buffy giggled as her cellphone beeped, anouncing she had another message. She pressed a key, eager for the image that filled her screen. When the image finished loading, she blushed and chewed her lip a bit before saving it and sending her a reply. She wished she'd known about this sort of thing sooner. The weeks Faith was away on missions Giles sent her on were painful, but this eased it just a little bit. Her phone beeped again a few moments later. She uploaded the image and her jaw dropped.

Oh yes. It eased the pain quite a bit.

The image of Faith wearing only her birthday suit and a sexy little grin made Buffy's day.

The phone beeped again, and Buffy opened the message, expecting another sexy picture. Instead, a text message greeted her and Buffy's stomach flip-flopped a bit.

'Lets c u now, B ;-) '

It was a pretty fair request, sure. Except that being nude and sexy over the phone was normal for Faith. Buffy didn't consider herself a prude, especially not after her escapades with Spike (and Faith had certainly broadened her horizons a bit) but she was still uncomfortable with taking pictures of herself nude. Her phone beeped as another text came in.

'Fair's fair, babe. :-)'

Well, she was right. Swallowing her pride, Buffy sent a reply.

'K. H/o.'

She closed her bedroom door and stripped. Standing in front of her full-length mirror, she tried to think of a sexy pose. She thought of Faith's hips and their sexy swagger and was surprised to feel her own tilt a bit. She looked at her reflection to see she'd fallen into a seductive, albeit carefree, pose. Satisfied (and a bit proud), she held up her cellphone and primed her camera for the pic.

"Hey Buff, we got Chinese you want-"

Buffy whirled, horrified at the sound of Xander's voice, and met his shocked, gawking stare.

"I... Uh..."

_"GET OUT!"_

She threw her phone at her bedroom door as Xander hurried to close it. Red with embarassment, she pulled on her clothes and walked over to retrieve it, shaking with humiliation and anger. Her phone beeped and she flipped it open to see a text from Faith.

'LMAO! Luv u, B!'

Confused, Buffy checked her sent-box and was horrified when she realized she'd accidentally taken a picture of herself, naked and shocked, with Xander staring at her with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. It must've sent when she threw it against the door.

Feeling a headache coming on, she closed her phone and rubbed at her temples.

She hated picture-messaging.


	19. Snowflakes

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Snowflakes  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Faith, Buffy, The Mayor  
Emotion: Cold  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: Post season 7  
Summary: Faith reminisces about when she recieved her favorite jacket.

* * *

Faith was perched on the fire escape when Buffy found her. It had been snowing steadily for a few hours, and though it wasn't snowing particularly hard, it was enough to stick to the pavement and turn the alley a soft white color. Illuminated by the streetlights, it was fairly beautiful.

"Hey," the blonde greeted softly. Something told her that she didn't want to startle the other Slayer at that moment. There was an air of peace around her that she rarely ever felt. Normally the air around Faith was full of something close to electricity. She could feel her nerves spark a bit whenever she was around her. But right now there was nothing but serenity and quiet reflection.

When the other Slayer didn't acknowledge her, she stood beside her and brushed her knuckles against Faith's arm. The brunette blinked at Buffy in surprise. "Hey, B. What's up?" she asked, looking a bit embarassed that she'd been caught unaware. Buffy smiled warmly and looked up. "Enjoying the snow. And also looking for you. I haven't seen you around much today." Faith shrugged a bit and looked down at the street again. "Just felt like being alone a little while, you know?"

Buffy did. They had escaped the Hellmouth alive, but the remaining Slayers were still holed up in a confined space, and this time they didn't have the luxury of a whole house. They had rented out a few hotel rooms, but the Slayers not checked into the local hospital were still feeling a bit skittish and insisted on sharing a room with their leader. She couldn't blame them, of course. They'd just seen hell itself, firsthand, and many of their friends had died right in front of them.

And yet, it seemed that she and Faith still craved a little space, a little solitude to absorb everything that had happened. The death of the girls they had led, the destruction of the town that had once been their home, Spike's demise... Buffy wrapped her arms around herself and shivered, both from the cold and from sadness.

Faith noticed out of the corner of her eye and shrugged out of her leather jacket before draping it around Buffy's shoulders. The blonde opened her mouth to protest, and Faith cut her off. "I've been out here for a while. I'm used to it." Buffy scowled a bit. "You're a Slayer, but you're not invincible. And besides," she shrugged her small shoulders in the large jacket, "I think there's room for two of us in here, anyway." Faith smirked and wrapped the leather around herself as well. It wasn't exactly true that the two could fit in it, but it trapped their body heat, which felt absolutely delicious.

They shared the comfortable silence for a little while, both wrapped up in their own thoughts before Buffy spoke.

"Where did you get this, anyway? I remember the black denim jacket and stuff, but this seemed new at the time. And kind of expensive."

Faith's eyes narrowed in pain and thought for a moment, and Buffy regretted her question immediately.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," she assured her. Faith forced a smile before answering.

"The Mayor."

Buffy nodded. She knew that the Mayor had gotten her an apartment and paid her for her...work... But she figured that Faith had bought the jacket herself. Or stolen it.

"I came back from patrolling one night, and I guess he thought I was a little under-dressed. He asked me what I was thinking, walking around half-naked all the time." Faith grinned a little at the memory. "I told him it was California and he should chill out. That it had only snowed once, and that was a freak-of-nature sorta thing. And the next thing I knew, he had taken off his jacket and given it to me. I'd only seen him wear it that one day. He told me that no Slayer of his would be cold ever again. I had an apartment, a job, and now I'd always have my health."

Buffy was stunned into silence. She understood in that moment why Faith was so loyal to him. Why she did unspeakable things without question. That man, demon, had given her a home and stability and was always looking out for her welfare. He had done what Buffy and her friends had neglected to do for so long. Buffy knew what kind of place she lived in, and never once offered to help find her a safer, cleaner home. She knew that Faith only had a few light jackets, and nothing really suitable for cold weather. She knew so much and did so little.

"He told me once that no two snowflakes are ever alike."

Buffy looked over at the other Slayer. Faith scrunched up her nose a bit and stuck out her tongue to catch a few flakes. "I can't really tell the difference, though. And they all taste the same."

The older slayer smiled, feeling a sudden surge of affection for the other woman. "Yeah, I guess so."

Faith looked over to her and grinned a small, genuine grin. One that Buffy knew was rare and something to be cherished.

Whether it was a subconscious thing or not, the two slayers snuggled a bit closer to each other before both looking out at the snow-covered city, grateful for the warmth, the conversation, and the memories that seemed to drift around them.


	20. Just an Inch

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Just an Inch  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Buffy, Faith, Angel, Spike  
Emotion: Complacent  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: Takes place during season 3, after 'Lover's Walk'.  
Summary: Buffy sees Faith attempting to move on after the incident with Gwendolyn Post, and also thinks about what Spike said during their encounter.

* * *

Training with Giles had always been Buffy's escape from her every day life and thoughts of it. Bad grades, a sketchy future, arguments with mom, with friends (her eyes flashed over to Faith for a moment) were all left at the door. For an hour or so every day, this time was intended soley to hone her instincts and Slayer abilities.

So she was pissed off, naturally, when she couldn't get her mind off of Faith. It didn't help that the girl in question was spinning, kicking and punching targets right in front of her.

She wondered if Faith was thinking of their last encounter. Well, their last encounter outside of training and patrolling and fighting off the latest town threat.

Since Mrs. Post's betrayal (and, subsequently, Buffy's), Faith had become very withdrawn and only appeared for Slaying-related activities. Sure, it had seemed that way before, but she had always seemed excited and happy to go patrolling with Buffy. They had become a good team and worked in-sync with one another. They had bonded over it.

Now, Faith rarely ever spoke during their patrols. Their teamwork was non-existent. Faith still had her back, but she'd stake the vamp and immediately head in another direction. There were no more jokes or high-fives. No more advice about guys (however disillusioned it might be). There was simply nothing. And to Buffy, that lack of any relationship hurt.

Any time she tried to bring up the incident and to explain herself, she'd see that flash of anger and hurt in Faith's eyes, and the younger woman would find any excuse to get away from her.

"Buffy?"

The blonde snapped out of her reverie and looked over at Giles. "Yeah?" The older man's brow crinkled in thought for a moment before he removed his padded gloves and placed them aside. "Spar with Faith a moment, will you? I'm afraid I need to go get some ice for my hands. And maybe order some new pads," he grimaced. Faith looked a bit sheepish and flushed a bit. Buffy smiled and nodded. "No prob," she assured him. He smiled gratefully and left.

Which left the two Slayers alone.

Faith eyed her warily and dropped into her defensive stance. Buffy felt her heart ache a bit and shook her head. "Giles had you attacking him, right? Let's keep it that way. Come at me, not the other way around," she instructed, and assumed her own defensive stance.

Faith straightened up a bit and rolled her shoulders, looking as though she were debating whether or not to listen to her. "If you don't start swinging at me, I'm going to start talking about what happened with Ang-"

The punch that connected her with her jaw sent her whole body reeling. Buffy blinked and realized she was on her back, staring at the ceiling. She sat up, and felt her jaw, knowing it was already bruising. She looked to Faith, and saw the girl's eyes dark with anger and hurt. Her nostrils were flaring with anticipation and the whites of her knuckles showed.

She was royally pissed off.

"Okay, nice to see you've gotten over that," Buffy muttered and stood up, resuming her defensive stance. "Faith, we have to talk about it at some point," she said and dodged a kick to her head, returning with one of her own. Faith evaded it with ease, her body humming with adrenaline. "Fuck you, B," she growled. "I don't have to re-hash shit. That's all your bullshit, so you deal with it by yourself!" She faked a punch and rammed her knee into Buffy's ribs instead.

The blonde saw dark spots dance in front of her eyes as the air flew out of her lungs. Shit, Faith really was angry. Much more than she had anticipated. "I'm sorry," she wheezed. She saw Faith smile grimly. "I bet ya are, B. I bet you're sorry that you nearly got everyone killed, and all for that piece of shit vamp!"

Buffy narrowly avoided having her legs swept out from under her, and swung one leg out towards Faith's face instead. She felt her sneaker connect with the side of Faith's face, and saw the brunette go sprawling.

"Yes! Yes, I'm sorry that my fucking secret got people hurt! Of course I'm sorry for that! But that's not what I'm talking about!"

Faith flipped onto her feat with ease and jabbed at Buffy, who grabbed her wrist instead and used it to slam her into the wall. Buffy backed off and moved away a few feet, breath coming out in short pants.

"Then what the fuck are you apologizing for?' Faith asked and pushed herself away from the wall. She turned and grabbed Buffy's arm, using it to pull the blonde to her and then grabbing her throat. An angry Faith was much faster than a grumpy one, and Buffy was shocked by the fluidity that she moved with. Buffy grabbed Faith's wrist and squeezed at her pressure points until she cried out at let the blonde go.

Buffy twisted Faith's arm behind her back and tossed her away.

"I'm sorry I hurt you! I'm sorry I didn't tell you about him! I was fucking scared, okay?"

Faith shook herself and turned to her, mouth twisted into an angry grimace. "Scared of what?" she demanded. Buffy could feel herself start to shake. The others, save for Giles, had accepted Angel's return. She didn't really have to explain herself much after their meeting. But Faith hadn't been invited to their meeting. She'd recieved no explanation for why Buffy had kept Angel hidden.

"Think about it, Faith! When Angel lost his soul, he went nuts! He killed the people I knew! He did everything he could to break me down."

"Then why keep the fucker alive, B? Explain _that _to me!"

"Because he has a _soul!_"

There was silence between them for a moment, and Buffy used the break to wipe the damp hair away from her eyes. She could feel herself begin to shake and knew that if she didn't try to stop it, she'd start crying soon.

"Before I sent him to hell, Willow performed the gypsy curse. It worked, but it was too late. I had to kill him anyway." She took a breath before continuing. "Angel and Angelus are two completely different beings. Angel is _Angel. _Angelus is..." She closed her eyes against the memory of Ms. Calendar. "He's sadist and cruel and evil to the core."

"Angel had no memory of what he did when he killed him. He had no idea why he was being punished. And when he came back... When he came back, he remembered me. And he remembered himself, and he remembered..." She choked a bit. "He remembered he loved me."

"And everything I'd been trying so hard to move past came rushing back and, and I did what I thought was right. I didn't just hide it from you, Faith. I hid it from everyone. And the others put that meeting together, not me. I'm sorry you weren't included. You should have been. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Faith. But I was afraid they'd kill him. Or you would. And I can't..." tears brimmed in her eyes. "You should only have to watch a loved one die once. Not twice," she finished.

Neither Slayer said anything for a while. Buffy rubbed at her bruised, aching jaw, and listened to Faith walk away. Buffy didn't know why it hurt so much to not have Faith's forgiveness. Why it hurt her so much to have hurt the younger Slayer. Why they reacted to each other so violently. Either they were close, or they were miles apart. One extreme or the other.

The hurt and betrayal in Faith's eyes had been the same Buffy had had in her eyes when she nearly beat Angelus to death in the factory. When she had poured all of her pain into her fists and let her body be the conduit for it. Angelus had caused her all that pain, so he could carry it.

But that had been different. She had loved Angel. So having that bond broken had been much more significant, hadn't it? She and Faith hadn't known each other long, so why was Faith taking this so personally? Why was Buffy, for that matter?

The blonde gasped when something icy-cold was pressed against the side of her face. She realized that Faith was standing beside her, holding an ice-pack in her hands. Buffy accepted it gratefully, and studied the brunette for a moment. Her hair was wild and mussed from their sparring, and the side of her face was bruised from Buffy's kick. Her eyebrow was split open from when Buffy had thrown her into the wall. She was sure her own face and body didn't fare much better. Studying the aftermath of their violence, Spike's words suddenly filled her mind.

_"You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love 'til it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other 'til it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends."_The malice in Faith's eyes had dimmed and was replaced with the hurt and pain from before, although Buffy noticed a bit of understanding and concern, too. Faith wasn't ready to trust her yet, but she understood, somehow, how Buffy felt.

_"Love isn't brains, children, it's blood. Blood that screams inside you to work its will."_Buffy smiled a tiny smile and accepted the ice-pack gratefully. "Thank you," she murmured. Faith offered her own tiny smile and, after a few seconds, the moment was broken. Faith grabbed her jacket from the back of a chair and slipped it on, mindful of her new injuries. "See ya tomorrow, B," she said and left. Buffy watched her go with mixed feelings. Yes, her friendship with Faith was still very damaged. But she'd repaired things a little bit with her tonight. Just a little. And Faith had let her have that inch. She didn't question why Spike's words, meant for Angel, had echoed in her mind when she looked at Faith. She wasn't prepared to analyze herself like that and simply didn't have the energy for it. Instead, she leaned against the counter and waited for Giles to return.

She would worry about her subconcious tomorrow. Tonight, she would simply cherish an inch.


	21. The Girl In Question

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: The Girl In Question  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Faith, Buffy  
Emotion: Confused  
Rating: R  
Spoilers: Takes place after 'Sanctuary'.  
Summary: A counselor attempts to analyze Faith while she's in prison.

* * *

"Ms. Lehane?"

"Someone else supposed to be here?"

The psychiatrist studied the young woman in front of her. Her skin was a bit pale. The prison nurse said she showed signs of malnurishment. She'd had a cut on her forehead that had been healing, although it seemed to have faded by now. Remarkable.

Her brown hair lay touseled on her shoulders, her eyes were dark with guilt, pain and determination. The shadows under her eyes hinted at a lack of sleep. She looked relaxed, but guarded, her arms crossed over her chest. The psychiatrist cleared her throat and offered a small, polite smile.

"Ms. Lehane, my name is Dr. Devlin. I'm going to be your counselor for the next few months."

"I don't need to be psycho-analyzed," Faith growled.

Dr. Devlin offered another small smile and gestured to the folder and paperwork in front of her. "I'm afraid it's court-ordered. If you undergo counseling with me and I see improvement, they may take that into consideration when you're up for parole."

"Yeah, in about twenty-five years," the teen scoffed.

The psychiatrist frowned and looked at the file. "It says here that you're nineteen," she murmured. Faith cocked an eyebrow. "I know my own age, lady." _Smartass. _The woman looked at the list of charges and the fragments of information they had on her. "You've committed two murders and a slew of aggravated assaults." Faith's eyes darkened a bit and she nodded. "Once again, this is all shit I'm very much aware of. So unless you have something you wanna ask, or something new to tell me, I'd really like to go back to my cell."

"Ms. Lehane, you were seventeen when you committed the murders of Deputy Mayor Allen Finch, and Professor Wirth. What happened that you committed these crimes at such a young age?"

Faith looked uncomfortable, and for a moment her eyes looked haunted. "I fell in with a bad crowd," she said, and her voice sounded hollow. Dr. Devlin looked at her file for a moment. "It says here that you were frequently seen with a 'Buffy Summers' while you resided in Sunnydale. Is she part of the bad crowd you're speaking of?"

The file on the table went flying toward the wall before Dr. Devlin had a chance to blink. _How did she move so quickly? _Eyes wide, she looked to the young woman in front of her. She looked pissed. Royally pissed. _Should I call for security? _

"Buffy had nothing to do with it. Not in the way that you're thinking," she snarled. "If anything, B's the only one who tried to reach out to me, besides Angel."

Dr. Devlin crossed her legs, took some notes and subtly attempted to gain some composure.

"You seem protective of Ms. Summers. Were you two close?" she asked, and looked up when she heard Faith chuckle darkly. "Closer in ways you can't imagine. But we were never friends."

"Were you lovers, then?"

Dr. Devlin felt her insides quiver a bit at Faith's dark, whistful grin. "Never."

"I'm afraid I don't understand, Ms. Lehane."

Faith leaned backwards, tipping her chair back, and crossed her legs.

"Me neither, Doc."

Dr. Devlin took a few notes and was silence for a moment.

"Speaking of the murders bothered you, but didn't incite a reaction like the topic of Ms. Summers did. Tell me, did you have feelings for her?"

Faith tensed. "That's really none of your fuckin' business."

The psychiatrist let out a breath and said in a tender voice, "you've been carrying quite a burden, Faith. And it's been wearing down at you, probably for years. The topic of your crimes and also of your... Of Ms. Summers, seems to re-open a lot of wounds. I want to help you learn how to cope with these issues. To help mend those wounds so that you can move on with your life. But I can only help you if you let me. Prison isn't just a place of punishment. It's a chance for rehabilitation. So please, Ms. Lehane, let me try."

The brunette looked torn, but relaxed a bit. Dr. Devlin took that as a good sign and tried again.

"Faith, did you have feelings for Buffy Summers?"

Faith's doe eyes met Dr. Devlin's, and a small, painful smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

* * *

Author's Note:

Hey all! Thank you so much for keeping up with this. It means a lot. :)

**Aquarius121**: I'm glad you think these one-shots have so much potential! And you never know, I might just turn one of them into a multi-chapter fic one day. :)  
**Whitecat**: Aw, thank you!  
**DobbyRoxMySox**: Thanks. I like playing devil's advocate, not to mention I'm a massive Lehane fan. But if I can make you feel sympathy for her, then I've accomplished what I was trying to. So thanks. :)  
**Senehta**: Thank you. Some chapters are cute and fluffy, but I really enjoy writing the ones with depth a lot more.

To everyone else, thank you for your reviews! Keep 'em coming! They keep me motivated! :)


	22. red leather

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Red Leather  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Faith, Buffy, Wesley, Angel  
Emotion: Contemplative  
Rating: R  
Spoilers: Takes place during 'Sanctuary'.  
Summary: Faith's thoughts as she sits on the window sill, overlooking the alley.

* * *

For a guy with such expensive furniture, he sure picked an apartment with a shitty view.

Faith looked out at the dark alley. There was nothing to it. Just a view of the building next door, a dumpster full of garbage and... Well, nothing. One of these days, she hoped to live somewhere with a view. Like the one she'd had at the place the Boss had gotten her. She could see all of Sunnydale from her window. How many sunsets had she watched from that same spot, night after night? How many times did she sit on her bed and watch the sun rise?

You couldn't see the sun from here.

She looked down at the piece of bloodied glass in her hand. She could hear Wesley moaning from his chair. He was in pain, a lot of pain, but he'd live. The cuts were shallow and the blood loss was minimal. That was how Kakistos had done it. Her Watcher had been kept alive for hours while that bastard cut her, burned her, beat her until she had begged for him to just end it.

Wesley hadn't cried. She'd give him that much. He had cried out in pain, yeah, but he never let a single tear fall. Most people would've been sobbing by now. She'd beaten him silly, but not enough for him to lose consciousness. She'd cut into his skin, just enough to ignite his nerves and draw blood, but he still couldn't pass out. No, she wouldn't give him that mercy.

Staring down at his blood, the memory of Buffy's red leather pants filled her mind. The way those leather pants had clung to her form, defining her thighs and her tight ass. The black leather jacket. The heavy boots. The look of sadness and determination.

God, Faith had never wanted to fuck her more than she did that night.

The night Faith had died.

_"All that killing and you're afraid to die?"_Faith winced and realized she'd been gripping the glass too tightly. The edges had bitten into her palm, and her own blood dripped onto the window pane. She relaxed her grip and looked out at the alley. Buffy had it all wrong. Faith hadn't been afraid to die. She was jealous of the older Slayer and liked to talk a big game, but she knew she was going to lose. She'd had no real hope of winning. Hadn't Buffy heard her, right before that knife was thrust into her belly?

_"Man, I'm gonna miss this."_Those weren't the words of someone who was going to win. Challenging the Slayer, taunting one of the most powerful vampires in existence, these were suicidal acts. She knew she wasn't going to get out of this alive. There was no chance. If Angel didn't kill her, she'd kill Wesley. She'd kill Cordelia. Hell, she'd kill Angel if she had to. Either the Council would come for her, Buffy and the Scoobies would, or the god-damn L.A.P.D. would. Someone would succeed in putting her down for good. She just wanted to go out with a fight. Suicidal or not, Faith had a reputation to maintain.

She heard Wesley whimper as he struggled uselessly against his restraints. Stupid man had tried to reach out to her earlier.

_"I believe in my heart that you're not a bad person."_Faith smirked to herself, holding the piece of glass up to the light. Did good people tie someone down and cut them? Did good people kill for money? Did good people attack the people they care about? Did good people lust for their friends and want to run their blood-stained hands all over them? Did good people fantasize about blonde girls in red leather pants fucking them senseless? Did good people want to drop to their knees and beg for forgiveness and also beat the face of their crush into someone unrecognizable?

She may be a lot of things-

_Traitor!_-but good certainly wasn't one of them. Letting out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding, she let the glass fall. She listened to it shatter on the pavement and rested her hands on her legs. Legs covered in worn black leather. For a fleeting moment, she remembered how the leather pants had felt that she had worn while she was inside Buffy's body. Warm and soft. She wondered if those red leather pants had felt the same. If Buffy had bought them especially for that occassion.

Whore!

Slut!

Dirty!

Filthy!

Bad!

Evil!

When the door fell in a few minutes later, for just a fraction of a second Faith had hoped that a goddess in red leather would come storming in.


	23. The Only Exception

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: The Only Exception  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Rating: PG-13  
Characters: Buffy, Faith  
Emotion: Content  
Spoilers: Set during season 3's 'Bag Girls'.  
Summary: Faith contemplates her relationship with Buffy after their encounter with the vamps in the sewers.

* * *

It had taken the girls a few showers to get the smell of the sewers off of them. Well, it had only taken Faith one, but Buffy insisted that they shower a few more times. She claimed she could still smell the sewage in her hair.

Faith thought she smelled lovely the first time.

They showered seperately of course, but that didn't stop Buffy from brushing and drying her hair when she was done. Faith had been fine with towel-drying her hair, but the blonde seemed to think of that as barbaric. After giving the brunette a pair of sweats and a t-shirt to wear (and subtly peeking as Faith got dressed), she set to the task of pampering her.

Faith would die before admitting it to anyone, but she had to bite her lip to keep from purring at the feeling of Buffy's nimble, gentle fingers running through her dark strands. She was careful as she untangled her hair and dried it, remarking every so often that the color was so pretty and Faith should take more pride in herself. The blonde would never know that 'pride' was a word she had no real concept of. 'Confidence', sure. 'Sexy', of course. But actual 'pride'? Not a clue.

They talked for a while about the fight. Not very much about what the pendant might mean. That was stuff for the Watchers to figure out. But the actual _fight. _The way Buffy had fooled the vamps into thinking she'd drowned. The roundhouse kick Faith had used to send a vamp spinning. The incredible aim and timing Buffy had had when she threw that stake into the vamp who nearly killed the younger girl. The adrenaline still pumping in their veins, that was what mattered.

They talked about the violence the same way two girls their age might gossip about boys. Boys came up too, of course. Buffy wanted to know if Faith was interested in anyone, and why she seemed unable to settle down with a guy.

Faith had to bite her tongue to keep from telling her that it was because there was no man in the world that could ever be her equal. That the only person her heart ever fluttered for was right in front of her, with wide, curious green eyes.

Instead, she smirked and asked the blonde why she thought Faith would ever limit her options. Teased the her a bit about how no normal human would ever be enough for their stamina. They'd come once and be spent for the night while the Slayers would be ready and craving another round. Or four.

They ate a whole large pizza between the two of them. Buffy joked that she'd need to work off the calories at training tomorrow and Faith couldn't resist a bit of flirting by suggesting that she could always burn off the calories with her. A wink and a grin made the blonde blush beautifully.

Before they settled down to sleep (Faith was allowed to sleep in Buffy's bed, much to her shock and delight), Buffy mumbled that there had to be someone out there who could match their stamina. After all, there was an exception to every rule. Even the ones Faith made for herself.

As the blonde drifted off to sleep, Faith looked over at her and wondered. She knew Buffy was straight, but in a world where maybe she wasn't, would she go for Faith then? Would she ever consider giving a girl with no class, no real standards, no real anything, a chance? Would her heart be enough?

She knew in her gut that it would never happen. Even her fantasy-world wouldn't allow it. Like everything else, she was only allowed the bare-minimum. She had no real home, but she had a tiny apartment. She had no real goals, but she had a Calling. She had no real significant other, but she had lovers. She had no pride, but she had plenty of attitude. She didn't have slumber-parties, but she had this night with B.

Could Faith ever settle down with anyone?

Buffy snorted in her sleep and her leg twitched. Faith grinned in the darkness and risked snuggling a bit closer to her.

She supposed that maybe, sometimes, there were exceptions.


	24. Ms Cranky Pants

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Ms. Cranky Pants  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Rating: R  
Characters: Buffy, Faith  
Emotion: Cranky  
Spoilers: Set during season 7.  
Summary: Buffy walks in on Faith watching some 'videos'.

* * *

_"I don't need mixed signals. I have Faith for that."_

Following her conversation with Spike, Buffy had to admit that she felt a bit guilty. She had just come to a sort of peace and understanding with the other Slayer, and yet, she wasn't out of her room for more than five minutes before saying something bitchy about her. What was her problem? Faith had reached out to her and Buffy still couldn't help getting a dig in.

So, feeling guilty, she made her way to the back door, intending to do some recon if she could. Just as she reached the door, she paused. Had it been her imagination, or had she heard a moan coming from upstairs?

A sense of worry wrapped itself around her heart. Faith was still recovering. What if she'd gotten worse? What if she was lying about her recovery so far and was just putting on a front?

She bit her lip, torn between leaving and seeing if she was okay when she heard it again, a bit louder this time.

_Damn it._

Letting out a sigh, she trudged back upstairs and headed towards her bedroom.

"Faith? You okay? I heard moa-"

Buffy stood, wide-eyed and slack-jawed at the sight in front of her. As soon as she'd opened the door, she saw exactly why Faith was moaning. Faith was caught with her hand in the figurative cookie jar. The brunette's hand was still in her pants, a deer-caught-in-the-headlights look on her face. Seeing light play on her face, Buffy looked to the TV to see images that made her turn five shades of red. Two women were fucking quite graphically.

"Uh, I didn't know that you guys had this channel and I was just flipping through and, and..."

Buffy held up a hand, silencing her.

"I thought you were hurt. I heard some moaning and, I thought..."

"You came to check up on me?"

Buffy looked to see a delighted grin on Faith's face. "B, that's so sweet! Didn't know ya cared!"

The blonde flushed and shut her eyes a moment. The images of the two women and Faith touching herself-_The way I've wanted to touch her... Whoa! Where the HELL did that come from?_- was burned into her mind.

"I'm going to go now and repress this for the rest of my life."

"You sure? You could always stick around and take off those Cranky Pants," Faith suggested, wagging her eyebrows. Buffy felt her pulse quicken and a heat settle into her lower belly. she'd been incredibly stressed out and emotional since learning of the First and the upcoming apocolypse, and she hadn't had an outlet. With that in mind, Faith's offer was incredibly tempting.

Seeing that she had Buffy's interest peaked, Faith upped the stakes. The hand still in her pants began to move slowly. Her free hand snaked under her shirt to cup one of her breasts and pinch an already overly sensitive nipple. She heard the blonde's small gasp and could tell that she was turned on.

"C'mon, B. All you gotta do is come in and close the door."

She wriggled her hips a bit, helping to move her pants down.

Buffy's pupils dilated.

"You're making me wet, just lookin' at me, Twinkie."

Buffy's hand tightened around the doorknob. Faith licked her full lips, her own eyes nearly black with want.

"C'mon, Buffy. Let me help you take the edge off."

Buffy stared at Faith's face, flushed and beautiful. At the full breasts underneath her shirt, nipples pressing against the fabric. At her stomach flexing every so often as Faith fucked herself slowly for her. She knew she wanted it. She knew that Faith would blow her mind.

She also knew that it would create something that she wasn't ready for, and that she wasn't sure that the brunette was ready to reciprocate. She had just promised Spike a chance in the future. She couldn't give in to a crush from years ago and possibly start something much more than just a casual fuck. She couldn't get attached. She knew that they wouldn't all make it out of this alive. And if she gave into this and Faith wasn't one of the survivors...

Swallowing, she took a breath and did her best to focus on Faith's face and not her undulating body.

"I'll be back in the morning. Let the others know if you need anything."

She turned and left quickly, missing the look of disappointment on Faith's face. Once she heard Buffy leave, she pulled her hands out of her pants and huffed. She could finish herself off, but it'd be empty now. She turned her attention to the blonde porn star writhing on the screen.

"At least one of us is getting off," she muttered before turning it off


	25. Hear Me Now

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.  
Title: Hear Me Now  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Rating: R  
Characters: Buffy, Faith  
Emotion: Crappy  
Spoilers: Set during season 7.  
Summary: The First visits Buffy with some unwanted truths.

_"Well, I swear to you and God we've been down this road before.  
The guilt's no good, and it only shames us more.  
And the truths that we all try to hide  
Are so much clearer when it's not our lives.  
We don't face the blame."  
- 'Hear Me Now' by Framing Hanley_

  
Buffy could count on one hand how many nights she actually slept since the First started making appearances in her dreams. Every night it was another death. So many girls, all defenseless, on the brink of tapping into the power that might save them, but it was always just out of reach. Always held inside Buffy's heartbeat.

Most nights she wandered the town now, feeling lonely but seeking solitude. It was strange to see the town so deserted. The movie theatre that used to be such a popular spot had been closed for weeks now. The only place left open was the Bronze, but with less patrons going, she was sure that place would shut down soon, too.

She came to a stop in front of the movie theatre, wishing for a moment that it were open. Wishing that she could go back in time to a place where there may have been threats, but she was always sure she'd come out on top. The Master, Angelus, Faith, the Mayor, Adam, Glory, the darkness that nearly consumed her... All those enemies had been so strong at the time. Looking back, they seemed like nothing. What she wouldn't give for a run-of-the-mill flesh and blood bad guy.

"Hoping to catch a movie, B?"

Buffy flinched, startled. She turned to the Slayer behind her, catching the cocky smile that nearly always graced her face. She couldn't help but notice that her lips were glossed a deep crimson. She realized at that moment that she hadn't seen Faith wear makeup like that since her escape from prison. She had always thought that the brunette looked sexy as hell with the harsh makeup, but the more natural look she sported these days seemed nicer.

Studying Faith, she realized that something seemed off. Her hair seemed shorter, and her eyes didn't look as tired as they normally did. "Did you get a haircut?" Buffy asked. Faith let out a laugh and shook her head, messing up her dark locks. "Nah. Why? D'you like it like this?"

Buffy looked at the clothes she was wearing. Black leather pants, a deep blue and crimson top that showed quite a bit of cleavage, a black denim jacket and heavy boots. The blonde's heart skipped a beat as she recognized the outfit. Faith took in the realization that washed across her face and smiled.

"I remembered you liked it."

Buffy frowned, suddenly feeling suspicious. "Where did you get those clothes?" she asked, an edge to her tone. Faith rolled her shoulders back, unconsciously (or maybe consciously) pushing her chest out more.

"C'mon, B. You can't tell me you don't like it. Remember that night at the Bronze? We were so close then. We were so in tune with each other."

Buffy tried to ignore the shiver that ran down her spine as she took a step back. Faith followed, stepping forward.

"I could sense every little thing you felt, Twinkie. And I knew you wanted me then. Just like I know you want me now."

"Stop it, Faith."

The brunette stopped a foot away from her, and Buffy frowned. The edges around Faith seemed a bit blurry. Her eyes widened. "How are you doing this? You can only take the form of someone who died."

Faith's mouth spread into a wide, wicked grin. "Took you long enough to figure it out."

"How can you be her? Or can you be anyone?"

"Sorry to disappoint you, babe. But I can't. You're right. I can only be someone who died."

Buffy cringed as her heart sank. "Then there's no way you can be her. Faith never died."

The copy in front of her suddenly winced and clutched at her stomach. Her clothing shifted in front of her, changing to the outfit she'd worn on the rooftop. Buffy watched the blood, so realistic-looking, seep between Faith's fingers. Brown eyes, full of shock, locked with hers.

"You did it, B. You killed me."

Buffy swallowed and shook her head in denial. "No. No, I didn't. I just put her in a coma."

The First laughed and dropped her hands away from her abdomen, blood still flowing and staining the fabric.

"You're kidding, right? You stuck one hell of a knife in her gut. Fucked up her kidneys. Fucked up her mind. Broke her body. You don't think she flat-lined once? Because that's all it takes, baby. One second where that heart stops, and I can take that image."

Buffy tried to ignore the truth of what the thing in front of her was saying. She'd known Faith had been badly hurt, but she never knew she'd ever flat-lined.

"She could sense you, you know. She could feel you, miles away. I'm guessing that little link works both ways. You _knew _when Faith died. You must have felt it."

"No," Buffy whispered, shaking her head.

"No? I guess it really was a once-sided thing then, because she sure as _fuck _felt when _you _died."

The doppleganger circled Buffy slowly. "You should've seen her, B. The second you jumped off that tower, this chick's heart broke. And I mean, it was absolutely shattered. Bitch broke down in her cell like someone was ripping her damn heart out. All tears and wailing. You would've loved it."

Buffy shut her eyes, trying to block it out. "You're a liar."

"I'm evil, but that doesn't mean I gotta lie to you. You're the one who lies to herself."

"Shut up."

"She loved you, you know. Wanted you from the moment she saw you come to save her in that stupid little dress. Wanted so badly to befriend you, to know you, to make you proud. Wanted so badly for you to love her, too. And the _second _she needed you, you bailed on her. She knew you wanted her. She knew you hated her, too. And that made her hate herself, more."

"Shut up!"

"She went to prison because you wanted her to. She came back to the place that scares her the most because she wants to protect you. She's going up against _me_ to try to save you. She's risking everything for you, and you can't even give her a kind word. And you think she's a monster?"

_"Shut up, god-damn it!"  
_  
"She knows we'll never forgive her."

Buffy turned to see the mirror image of herself, eyes cold and cruel.

"I already have," she argued. The First shook its head.

"No. You can't. Because she can make you weak, and you hate her for that. It's something she doesn't know, but you do."

Buffy swallowed back the urge to cry.

"Why are you telling me this?"

It smiled.

"Because she's going to die. Everyone is going to die. They'll hold her pretty little neck in their hands and they'll snap it, and she'll die knowing you hate her. That nothing she did was ever enough."

It shifted back to Faith's form, and Buffy shivered at the sound of her husky voice as it spoke.

"The best way to hurt someone is with the truth, B. That's why I don't bother with lies. Honesty is so much more painful."

It leaned in close, and Buffy could almost swear she felt breath against her ear.

"I want you to die knowing your soul is no more cleaner than anyone else's. You can put her down all you like, and she'll take it. But in the end, your soul is just a filthy with guilt as hers. Yours moreso, because you'll never do anything to change it. And I like that."

Buffy turned to argue, but she was gone.

Shaken to the core, she cursed herself for letting the First get to her. She knew its games. She knew better than to listen. She also knew that it was right about everything. "Fuck," she muttered. She wrapped her arms around herself, holding onto herself tightly, before beginning the walk back home.


	26. What If

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon. I also don't own 'What If' by Safetysuit.  
Title: What If  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Faith, Buffy  
Emotion: Crazy  
Rating: R  
Spoilers: Takes place during season 3's 'Graduation Day'.  
Summary: Faith's thoughts as she wails on the punching bag. Makes slight references to other fics I've written for this challenge.

* * *

_What if it makes you sad at me?_Faith shrugged off her dark denim jacket and tossed it on the chair. A few months ago it'd be lying on the floor, but the Mayor had taught her to take pride in her belongings. To take pride in herself. She looked over at the bow and arrow that rested against the wall, next to her weapons chest. She still had a few arrows with tips dipped in poison. She read up on the side-effects. According to what she read, the descent to death was wicked painful for the vamp. Muscle cramps and spasms, hallucinations, fever, and then death. She remembered what Buffy had told her once.

_"You should only have to lose someone you love once."_Well, bullshit. Faith had to lose _her _every fucking night. Over and over again she had to lose her to that undead piece of shit. Well, now she'd lose Soul-Boy one more time, and Faith along with him. The self-righteous bitch would finally be free of both of them. Faith would finally be free of her, one way or another.

She walked over to her dresser and took out a roll of ace bandages and began wrapping her hands. She tried not to notice the broken skin around her knuckles from the previous nights. The skin was red and angry, and every time it started to heal, Faith would pound the hell out of the punching bag and tear them open again. She wondered why she did this, sometimes. Was it some sort of penance for what she was putting Buffy through? Was it because the sense of pain sometimes seemed to bring her back down to earth? Then again, all it took was just a peek at the blonde, and she was on cloud fucking nine again.

_And what if it makes you laugh now, but you cry as you fall asleep?_She tightened the ace bandage on her one hand and secured it before beginning on the other. Once that task was finished, she pulled her hair back and away from her face. She remembered, against her will, how Buffy had fixed her hair for her during their only sleep-over. How they'd bonded so much that night. How good she'd felt, knowing she could make the other woman blush. How sweet it was that Buffy had let her sleep in her bed. How right it felt when the older girl unconsciously cuddled up next to her in her sleep. How amazed she'd been that she hadn't wanted to bolt immediately at the act of true intimacy.

She felt regret burning in her chest and tried hard to push the memories away. It should've been easy. She'd been a pro at it her whole life. Something unpleasant happened or hurt her, and Faith could push it down, somewhere deep and lock it away. That's what she had to do with the other Slayer: push thoughts and affection for her somewhere far away and never look back.

_What if it takes your breath and you can't hardly breathe?_Staring at the punching bag in front of her, Faith squared her shoulders and dropped into her fighting position. She imagined that the bag in front of her was a vamp, and went to town. That image never lasted very long, though. Sooner or later it'd change into something more personal, and though she hated herself for it, she couldn't help it. Soon the bag would become her drunken mother, the father who left her, the boy who forced himself on her and taught her that sex wasn't really that special, her original Watcher who was tortured to death, Giles and his judgemental eyes, Xander and his look of confusion when she kicked him out after taking his virginity, Willow and her jealousy, Wesely and his pompous attitude, Angel and his brooding empathy, and eventually...

Faith choked down a cry as her fist slammed into the bag with incredible force. If the Mayor didn't have this one reinforced, it would've broken like the others.

_And what if it makes the last sound be the very best sound?_Faith closed her eyes a moment and opened them to see the small, blonde girl in front of her. Green eyes were filled with hurt, accusation and betrayal.

_"Faith, you don't get it. You killed a man!"_She shut her eyes against the memories echoing in her mind and swung a punch at the bag again.

And again.

And again.

Faith could feel her knuckles protesting in pain, and she pushed through it. She could feel everything she'd ever shoved down deep threatening to break loose, and it was important to keep it in tact. Desperate to quell the anger, she thought of something better. She thought of the sound of her Watcher telling her how proud she was of her. Of Buffy telling her they could figure everything out together. Of the Mayor telling her how special she was.

_And is it all my fault or can I fix it, please?_Faith opened her eyes and saw Buffy standing in front of her, her hand bloodied from trying to save Finch.

_"I never knew you had so much rage in you."_"Right, because we're real tight, right?" Faith echoed and jabbed. The memory in front of her looked at her with such wide eyes.

"We can figure it out."

_"We could be."_They could've been a lot of things, if Buffy had ever taken the time to notice her. For months, Faith had been vying for her attention, only to lose to some undead ex. And besides, what was she supposed to do? Abandon the mission now? Go crawling back to the Scoobies on her hands and knees? It was impossible now. They never forgave her for her first fuck-up. They'd never forgive her for this. They'd never understand. The only person who really tried was the one person she hated more than anyone. The one guy who stood in the way of what she wanted. The guy who got to hold and kiss and comfort the girl she was so utterly fucking in love with. The only one the blonde goddess spread her legs for, and it _killed _her.

_'Cause you know that I'm always all for you._Faith gasped as she held onto the bag, exhausted. Giving herself a moment, she stumbled over to the bed and sat down, breathing heavily. She held her head in her hands and faught back a sob. Everything was so fucked up and she didn't know what to do. She wished she could just leave everything and run away. She supposed she could, but the Mayor depended on her. She finally had a safe place to call home and she couldn't give that up.

At the same time, she didn't want to face Buffy. She didn't want to be in her prescense. She wanted to be so far away from her that she could forget she ever existed.

_And what if it makes you crash and you can't find the key?_Finally taking notice of the burning in her knuckles, she lowered her hands and looked at the bandages. The tops were stained red and she let out a sigh. Very carefully, she unwrapped one hand and then the other, wincing as the material tugged at her skin. Sure enough, her knuckles were split open, cracked and bleeding. It would heal, but it would be painful. Already, she noticed that it wasn't bleeding much and it wasn't deep.

She tossed the bloodied ace bandages in the trash, stood, and went to the bathroom to wash up. She splashed some cool water on her face and then gingerly washed her hands. Her knuckles stung, but it wasn't too bad, thankfully. Her breathing had evened out and her pulse was normal again. Her rage had diminished, and now she felt mercifully numb.

After drying her hands, she grabbed a twizzler and a few comics and jumped onto her bed. She'd read them all already, but she was desperate for anything to take her mind off of the girl who tortured her psyche. Besides, the workout had exhausted her and she needed a break.

_And if this be our last conversation, if this be the last time that we speak for a while_

Faith wasn't sure what song was playing on the radio, but she nodded along to it anyway, grateful to let the noise fill her head. It drowned out the pain a bit. She took a bite of the twizzler and tried to focus on the superheros in the comics. All beautifully sculpted and strong, always coming out on top. The villains always getting theirs in the end. Maybe Faith would get lucky and come out on top. Maybe, somehow, she'd get the girl in the end. Every dog had its day, right?

She blinked when she realized the music stopped. She sensed her before she turned to see her, her breath caught in her throat. When she rolled onto her back and sat up, she felt her knuckles burning, yes, but she recognized the pounding of her heart first.

_Don't lose hope and don't let go._Faith tossed the candy aside and smiled.

The Reaper had never looked so beautiful.


	27. Roses Are Red, Faith Is Blue

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon. I also don't own 'What If' by Safetysuit.  
Title: Roses Are Red, Faith Is Blue  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Faith, Buffy  
Emotion: Creative  
Rating: R  
Spoilers: Takes place during season 3, pre 'Bad Girls'.  
Summary: Valentine's Day has arrived, and Faith is feeling completely lost.

* * *

Faith looked at the card in her hands in total despair before tossing it onto her mattress and rubbing her eyes. She'd been staring at the damn thing for over an hour, trying to imagine just what in the fuck she'd write in it. "Should've gotten one of the cards with the shit already written inside. All I'd have to do is sign the thing," she muttered to herself.

That had been her plan, actually. Just walk into the drug-store, grab a simple-but-sweet card and leave. All she'd have to do is write the _'Dear Buffy' _and sign it _'-Faith'. _Maybe she'd sign it _'Love, Faith'. _Or maybe not. 'Love' was a strong word, and she never used it. Well, except for when she talked about how she _loved _slaying, or _loved _a big, juicy burger after a good slay, or how she _loved _a nice, mind-blowing orgasm after all of that. But the romantic, mushy, sentimental-_love_? Fuck no.

But _Buffy _was into that mushy, girly bullshit, and so the card had to convey that, too. Well, without Faith actually saying (or writing) anything. But every card she looked at was overly romantic or poetic. Way too sappy for Faith's comfort. All 'my love', and 'my sweetheart'. Although, if Faith was completely honest with herself (and she was nowhere near ready to be), she'd admit that maybe, just maybe, she had those sort of sappy feelings for the petite blonde.

After all, she'd never agonized in a drug-store for over an hour of a friggin' card for anyone else. If it were anyone else she was attracted to, she'd just wear her sexiest, most confident smile, strut right over and plant a big one on her. And she'd turn to butter in Faith's hands and they'd be fucking like rabbits shortly after.

For some reason, Faith knew that she had to approach Buffy differently. Buffy deserved roses and chocolates and a five-star dinner. She needed to wine-and-dine the older Slayer.

And this card was the first step.

Now all she needed to do was put into words how she felt. What she hoped for. How she loved to see Buffy blush whenever Faith flirted with her. How she loved to see the other girl look away and smile shyly whenever Faith tried her damndest to charm her. How seeing her smile made the brunette smile without even realizing it. How she could feel the other Slayer through their connection, and it sent the most delicious shiver down her spine and radiated into her lower belly. How just being near the smaller woman made Faith's heart race in a way that slaying, burgers, the best orgasm never could.

Faith growled at the card that seemed to be mocking her with it's blank-ness.

It was such a simple card. Just a big, red heart on the front with the words 'Happy Valentine's Day' written in a flowing script underneath. The inside of the card was completely blank.

What the hell had she been thinking?

She tempted for a moment to just rip it up and forget the whole idea. She'd find some other way to let Buffy know how she felt. Maybe she could just come out and say it. Just tell her, "I like you." Faith's face flushed with embarassment at the mere thought of that. What was she, twelve?

Chewing thoughtfully on the pen in her hand, she stared long and hard at the object of her frustration. Minutes ticked by as she gnawed on the piece of plastic, every suggestion her mind came up with being quickly rejected. Too sappy, too dumb. Finally, she picked up the card and began to write.

_B-_It was shitty, not romantic in the least, and she wouldn't be surprised if Buffy laughed at it and ignored it completely. But it was actually the sweetest thing Faith had ever done for someone she was interested in. And she never claimed to be a poet. Cursing herself over and over, she put the card in the envelope, sealed it, and wrote Buffy's name across the front. With the deed done, she put the card on the nightstand and tried to shrug off her anxiety.

Roses are red,  
This day leaves me confused.  
But I just want you to know,  
That I really dig you.

Happy Valentine's Day, Twinkie.

-Faith

She was meeting the Scoobies at the Bronze that night, so she turned her attention to what she would wear, instead. Luckily, she had a hot little red dress she had yet to wear and it seemed like the perfect time to break it out. Letting out a breath, she grabbed the dress and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. _Tonight's the night, _she promised herself.


	28. How Can I Tell You

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon. I don't own 'How Can I Tell You' by Liz Durrett.  
Title: How Can I Tell You?  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Faith, Buffy  
Emotion: Crushed  
Rating: R  
Spoilers: Takes place during season 3.  
Summary: A continuation of 'Roses Are Red, Faith Is Blue'. Faith made it to the Bronze with the card meant for Buffy. This is the result.

* * *

_How can I tell you that I love you?_

_I love you, but I can't think of right words to say._

_I long to tell you that I'm always thinking of you._

_I'm always thinking of you, but my words just blow away._

_Just blow away._

Faith stepped into the Bronze, and immediately greeted with the warmth created by the bodies surrounding her. It was a nice contrast from the chill of the night outside. She shrugged off her leather jacket and draped it over her arm before sweeping her gaze over the club. It didn't take long for her to find what she was looking for.

Buffy was dancing in the middle of her group of friends. She somehow managed to look beautiful and adorable in a light pink dress made out of some soft-looking material. It was strapless, and showed just the slightest hint of cleavage. Just sexy enough to leave you wanting her without being out-right sexual.

Her brown eyes took in the smile on the blonde's face, and felt her own mouth pulling up into one. She fingered the envelope in her hands, suddenly feeling incredibly nervous. She looked down at her own dress, wondering if it was okay. It had thin straps, a plunging neckline and was crimson red. It practically screamed sex, but then again, Faith could wear a garbage bag and still exude that aura of sexuality. She left her hair down in a mess of soft curls and waves, and her lips were blood-red. She'd read in some magazine that if you wanted to draw attention to your lips, you went light on the eyes. So, her eyes were a light bronze for once.

She prayed _Cosmo _was right.

Feeling herself begin to break out in a nervous sweat, she shook her head and chided herself for being such a pussy. _Just get your ass over there, give her the Lehane-grin, hand her the card and wait for the fireworks. Suck it up!_

She took a deep breath and made her way through the mass of dancing bodies.

_It always ends up in one thing, honey.  
_

_And I can't think of words to say._

She stopped a few feet away. Willow and Xander had yet to notice her, as did her Golden Girl. She screamed at herself mentally to keep going, but her heart was hammering in her chest and her legs felt like they were made of lead. Letting out a groan, she turned and made her way to the bar. She lifted someone's beer, ignored their protests and remarks about how she was a 'bitch', and made her way up the stairs to the balcony.

"C'mon, Lehane. This shit has to stop. Just have a drink, chill out, and just go down there and do it. No more fucking around," she muttered to herself.

She took a sip of the beer and let out a sigh as a warmth began to spread throughout her veins. It wasn't Jack Daniels, but it would have to do. She looked out at the crowd of couples, all happily dancing, making out, or practically fucking. _Actually, if you look at the couches in the back hard enough, there may actually be some literal fucking going on, _she mused as she nursed her drink.

_Wherever I am, I'm always walking with you._

_I'm always walking with you, but I look and you're not there._

_Whoever I'm with, I'm always talking to you._

_I'm always talking to you, and I'm sad that you can't hear. _

_Sad that you can't hear._

As a slow song came on, Xander and Willow moved to their respective partners, leaving Buffy solo. Faith straightened her posture, clutched the envelope tightly and took a deep breath. This was her moment. Buffy was moving to sit at a table and was trying her best not to look hurt, but Faith could sense it. She could feel the blonde's loneliness pulsing in her chest like it was her own. Fuck, maybe it was.

The brunette made her way down the stairs and weaved through the slow-dancing couples. Still, the Scoobies had yet to notice her. Then again, ever since Faith had shown up, they rarely did unless it was some dire situation. But that was fine. _Buffy _noticed her, and that was all that mattered.

She noticed Buffy shiver and knew that the older Slayer had sensed her coming. She was a bit surprised. Faith could always sense her coming a mile away. _Whatever. She's distracted. Doesn't mean anything. _

She saw Buffy look up and search the crowed before her green eyes fell on Faith. The brunette saw her pupils dilate as they took in her dress and the way it hugged her body in all the right places. Faith cringed inside as Buffy's eyes drifted down to her boots. Her combat boots were all she owned. Despite this new wave of insecurity, her cocky smile never faltered. She was Faith Lehane, god-damn it. She could make worn-out sneakers look better than Gucci.

"Hey, B," she greeted. Buffy looked stunned for a moment before regaining her composure and smiling.

"Hey. I didn't know you were coming here tonight," she said. Faith draped her jacket across the chair before sitting across from her. She held the envelope on her lap, out of sight. She shrugged and looked around. "Nowhere better to be. Vamps aren't really out tonight, the world isn't ending, and this is the only place in town that plays decent music," she babbled. Buffy cocked an eyebrow. She understood why. Faith was never very talkative outside of patrolling.

Letting it slide, Buffy looked around. "Well, it's Valentine's Day. So it's pretty much a couple-atmosphere. Or couple-ing. I think there are people getting pelvic on the couches," she said, scrunching her nose in adorable disgust. Faith grinned. "Well, don't worry, Twinkie. You're not the only person who came here stag," she assured her. The blonde looked surprised. "Really? I thought you would've come with someone."

Faith leaned toward the table to rest her elbows on it, the card still safely in her lap. "Nah. Valentine's Day is a bit too mushy for me." _Says the girl with a fucking love-note on her lap. _She shrugged. "Besides, I can snag a guy any day. Tonight I felt more like chilling with a certain blonde Chosen One," she said with a smile. She was pleasantly surprised when Buffy slowly returned it, albeit with a light blush.

_It always adds up to one thing, honey,  
__  
When I look and you're not there._

_I need to know you._

_Need to feel my arms around you._

_Feel my arms around you, like a sea around a shore._

Buffy looked around at the other couples dancing, and Faith noticed her face fall again. She scrambled to distract her and do her best to get that smile back.

"You look really pretty tonight."

_WHAT THE FUCK, LEHANE?_

Buffy looked at her, blinking with wide eyes. Despite her best efforts, Faith felt herself blush from head to toe. She had no idea how to save herself from that, or how the hell Buffy would handle it. The blonde blushed, too, before smiling warmly.

"You look beautiful, Faith."

She was pretty sure her skin-tone was now matching her dress. Buffy Summers, the girl of her dreams, just said she looked beautiful. She had no idea what to say. No one had ever called her that before. 'Sexy', 'hot', 'fine', sure. But _beautiful? _

She looked down at the card in her lap, now more determined than ever. She tried to swallow, but her mouth was suddenly dry.

"Hey, B, there was something I..."

Buffy smiled, waiting patiently for Faith to continue.

"I mean, there's something I wanted to..."

"Buffy."

They both looked up at the new person standing at their table. Buffy's eyes lit up.

Faith's darkened.

_And each night and day I pray and hope that I might find you._

_And hope that I might find you, 'cause hearts can do no more._

_And it always adds up to one thing honey,_

_Still I kneel upon the floor._

Angel was dressed in a gorgeous silk shirt and perfectly pressed black slacks. Fuck, even his shoes were polished to perfection. His dark eyes took in Faith's form. It may have just been her, but she could have sworn he saw them narrow slightly for a fraction of a second.

"Hello, Faith."

She forced a smile. "Hey," she returned. Seeming satisfied, he turned his attention back to Buffy.

"Happy Valentine's Day," he said, and offered her a rose. A single, red rose.

_Pft. I would've gotten her at least a dozen. Cheap dick._

Buffy accepted the flower like it was the fucking Holy Grail. Something incredibly precious and fragile. Angel glanced at Faith, and she wondered if he was sizing her up. Determined not to be intimidated, she straightened her back and locked her jaw. To anyone looking at them, they would've seen three friends (or two lovers and an aquaintence). But Angel could sense the challenge rolling off of her.

"Would you mind if I stole her away for a moment?"

Though he was asking, he knew Faith really had no choice. What could she say without coming off as a bitch to Buffy? Besides, the blonde was so enraptured with the vamp that there was really no need to ask. She'd be surprised if Buffy even remembered Faith was there.

Still, she was about to risk a bitchy retort, when she noticed the look on Buffy's face. The look that Faith knew she always had on her own whenever she laid eyes on the other Slayer. Adoration.

So, she forced a very strained smile and winked. "Have at it, kiddos," she said. Buffy threw her a thankful smile before standing up. "I'll be back after the song is over," she promised. But she knew it was a promise the blonde couldn't keep. She knew Angel had no intention of leaving Buffy alone again. Especially since she was pretty sure he knew Faith was interested in her. And maybe, just maybe, that Buffy reciprocated those feelings just a tiny bit.

_How can I tell you that I love you?_

I love you, but I can't think of right words to say.

_I long to tell you that I'm always thinking of you._

_I'm always thinking of you._

She watched Buffy walk away with Angel, and even tortured herself by watching them slow-dance for a little while. But she couldn't watch as he bent to kiss her, or as she responded with a passion that gripped Faith's heart like a vice. She looked down at the card in her lap, feeling humiliated and stupid, and tossed the thing on the table before grabbing her jacket and walking away.

Angel watched her leave with mixed emotions. He was jealous. The connection she and Buffy shared was one neither he, nor anyone else, would ever be able to understand. He could tell, also, that his lover was attracted to her. Even if she didn't acknowledge it, he could tell.

He also felt sorry for the girl, because he knew that it would never work, just as he and Buffy would never work. He was lucky to have these moments with her, but he knew, deep down, that it was doomed. He could never give her what she needed, just as Faith could never give her what she deserved. He knew what it was like to be in love with this girl, and know he could never really have her. And so he felt sympathy for the young girl leaving so crushed.

His eyes fell on the card she left behind. Should he give it to Buffy? Let her decide how she felt and what she wanted? Or should he just leave it?

"I love you."

Her murmur in his ear decided for him. He wrapped his arms around her more tightly, and pressed a kiss against her hair. He would have to leave her in the end. Even if it damned him more, for this little while, he would be selfish.

_It always adds up to one thing, honey,_

And I can't think of right words to say.


	29. Curiosity Killed The Cat

Title: Curiosity Killed The Cat...And the Conviction  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Buffy, Faith, Angel  
Emotion: Curious  
Rating: R  
Spoilers: Takes place between seasons 3 and 4.  
Summary: Post 'Graduation Day'. Buffy goes to Angel's mansion to retrieve some of her things and finds something unexpected. Somewhat a continuation of 'Roses Are Red, Faith Is Blue' and 'How Can I Tell You' (I'm only doing this once! lol). This will be the last part in this very-mini series. Don't hate me for a not-so-happy ending!

* * *

_Hold on, this will hurt more than anything has before._

_What it was, what it was, what it was._

_I've brought this on us more than anyone could ignore._

_What I've done, what I've done, what I've done._

Buffy pushed open the mansion doors, feeling the tension gathering in her neck and shoulders from the anxiety. The night had been difficult enough with stopping the Mayor's ascension, blowing up the high school and barely escaping alive.

But she could have taken all that in stride, gone home and slept well tonight if it hadn't been for Angel leaving.

Seeing him through the smoke and chaos, feeling the pain of the unsaid 'goodbye' between them, had left her feeling devastated and drained. There had been so much history there, so much love invested, and it was gone. It felt too sudden, too raw.

And so after saying goodbye to her friends, she found herself here. She couldn't bring herself to just go home and shrug it all off as though it were nothing. Of course she knew it had been coming. He'd given her some warning. But part of her never believed he'd really go through with it. That he'd be able to really leave her. After all, he'd gone come back from hell, literally, only to find her. How could he simply leave?

_I've worked for so long just to see you mess around._

_What you've done, what you've done, what you've done._

_I want back the years that you took when I was young._

_I was young, I was young, but it's done._

She walked past the couches where they used to sit and talk for hours. Past the area where they used to spar. And where Faith had...

Her breath caught in her throat.

She hadn't thought about Faith since she'd used her to bait the Mayor. Guilt, remorse and anger temporarily overwhelmed her senses. That was another situation she wasn't entirely ready or able to process yet. She thought she had gotten over Faith's betrayal, but after their last confrontation and her shared dream with the younger woman, she wasn't sure what to think anymore.

She could still picture Faith, clear as day, standing in her cluttered apartment. She could remember with startling clarity how Faith had seemed so unguarded and open. She had laughed, even.

Buffy looked at the chains hanging by the fireplace. She remembered how vulnerable the brunette had looked, unconscious and bruised. She remembered wondering how it had come to this. How she could have let Faith slip so far away.

_Oh, take it all away._

_I don't feel it anymore._

_Oh, take it all away._

_Oh, take it all away._

_I don't feel it anymore._

_Oh, take it all away._

She knew Faith had been terrified after she killed Allen Finch. Buffy knew it had been an accident. Why couldn't she have tried harder to help her? And why couldn't Faith understand that she had been afraid, too?

She tore her eyes away from the chains and looked at Angel's bedroom, instead. She walked inside and swallowed against the tears that threatened to choke her. She could still smell him, mixed with the sour scent of infection. She looked at the rumpled bedsheets and closed her eyes for a moment. She felt hatred towards Faith for nearly killing the man she loved.

Buffy had lost so much over the years, and to almost lose him too nearly killed her. She took a deep breath before shaking the depression and anger off. She turned her attention to an armoir and opened it. She rifled through some of the clothes he left behind. She fingered the soft fabric, tempted to take a few articles home with her.

After debating with herself for a few moments, she muttered a low "fuck it," before pulling off her shirt and pulling on one of his sweaters instead. It was much too large on her and fell to her knees, but it was soft and smelled like him, and brought her comfort and pain all at the same time. For a night of mourning, it was perfect.

She shimmied out of her leather pants and folded them before setting them aside. She found some of the shirts she'd left behind and pulled them out as well. She felt a swell of remorse and loss, remembering how they had talked about putting some space aside for her. How maybe she might slowly begin to move in with him once college started.

So many possibilities and plans that would never come to fruition.

_We'll fall just like stars being held by only string._

_Everything, everything here is gone._

_No map can direct how to ever make it home._

_We're alone, we're alone, we're alone._

Buffy nuzzled the fabric of his shirt before eyeing the last drawer. She opened it to find something that caused a sob to tear from her throat.

The claddagh ring she had left here before Angel had come back was there, along with a red envelope with her name on it. She picked up the ring, memories of receiving it on her seventeenth birthday running through her mind. A token of his love for her.

She picked up the red envelope and her sobs subsided a bit. It was her name on it, yes, but the handwriting wasn't Angel's. The script was a bit more feminine, though it looked as though it'd been written in a rush.

Brow furrowed, she turned it over to see that it had already been opened. Who had tried to give her a card? And why did Angel read it and not tell her?

She pulled the card out and studied the front. It was a simple red heart with the words 'Happy Valentine's Day' printed in a flowing script underneath. Curious, she opened it and felt her heart stop.

_B -_

_Roses are red,_

_This day leaves me confused._

_But I just want you to know,_

_That I really dig you._

_Happy Valentine's Day, Twinkie._

_-Faith_

Buffy felt tears well in her eyes again as she re-read the little poem over and over. Faith had meant to give her a card? Why didn't she give it to her? How did Angel get it? Why didn't he ever tell her? Why didn't Faith ever tell her?

She thought back to Valentine's Day. She remembered Faith showing up at the Bronze. Had the brunette seemed nervous that night? Buffy wracked her mind anxiously, going over every little detail. She remembered how Faith, in that red dress, had taken her breath away and made her feel warm in a way that made her a little uncomfortable. She remembered the warm, confident grin on the younger girl's face. The way her hips swayed and drew the attention of everyone in the room.

She remembered Faith sitting down across from her. Did she have a card in her hands? Buffy cursed herself for not being sure. She remembered their small-talk, and how Faith said she preferred to spend the holiday with her instead of anyone else. Buffy remembered how she felt herself blushing.

_"You look really pretty tonight."_

Buffy felt her cheeks burning as she remembered Faith's compliment. The brunette looked so nervous after saying it. But she had looked so surprised and touched when Buffy had told her that she looked beautiful. Looking back on it, she wondered if Faith had ever been called 'beautiful' before.

_"Hey, B, there was something I..."_

The blonde felt the air leave her lungs painfully as she remembered that Faith had tried to tell her something. Angel had interrupted them and the younger girl had never finished. She had told Buffy to go dance with him, and she had promised to come back as soon as their dance was over. But the dance had lasted several songs, and she was ashamed to admit that she had forgotten that Faith was there. By the time Willow and Xander had waved her over to the table, she was gone.

Buffy stared at the card in her hands, stunned. Angel must have seen Faith leave it behind and picked it up. He had read it, saw that Faith had feelings for her, and decided to keep it from her.

Faith had never tried to tell her how she felt after that.

Buffy shut her eyes, cursing herself.

_Oh, take it all away._

_I don't feel it anymore._

_Oh, take it all away._

_I don't feel it anymore._

She understood some of Faith's anger with her now. Her near-obsession with getting back at her. It wasn't just because Buffy had everything she wanted. It was because she wanted Buffy herself, too. Because she tried to reach out to her again and again, and Buffy was ignorant to it every time. And the one time someone could've clued her in, he chose to hide it instead.

Buffy opened her eyes and looked down at her hands. At the card with Faith's secret, and the ring with Angel's love. Two losses that stung her deeply. Angel had left her, and she'd pushed Faith away. Hell, she put the girl into a coma she'd probably never wake up from. And what if she did? What if she'd had a chance to tell Buffy how she felt on Valentine's Day?

She wasn't a lesbian. She'd never been attracted to women. But there was no denying that Faith made her heart race in a way that no one else could. That they had a connection that was unlike anything else. But could she love Faith?

She put the card down beside her, along with the ring. Even if she could, there was no chance now. Their relationship was too damaged. Faith was too damaged. They would never know.

She took a deep, shuddering breath and for a moment she hated Angel.

She never thought it'd be possible, but she hated him for a fraction of a second. She hated him for keeping this from her. She had no idea how she felt about Faith, but the choice should have been hers to make, not his. So much might have been different if she'd known. Or maybe it would still be the same. She would never know.

Feeling suddenly exhausted, she laid down in his now too-large bed and curled up on her side. Her mind ached with this knew knowledge and this new sense of loss. She tried to push all of it away. She needed to rest. She needed to just get away from it for a little while. She needed a little peace.

She felt her body grow heavy as her breathing evened out. She felt herself slipping away and was glad. She embraced the sense of warmth and safety she felt and let herself become enveloped by it.

She felt the bed shift and opened her eyes to see the room filled with sunlight. The crimson and white sheets were now blue. She sensed a presence behind her, and rolled over to see brown eyes studying her. The smile on Faith's face was soft, her eyes curious.

"Why so sad, B?"

Buffy reached out to touch her face. Faith held her hand to her cheek and grinned.

"Rest up, blondie. Big changes are coming. You gotta be ready."

The older slayer stroked her cheek.

"What about you?"

Faith grinned brightly and nipped the palm of Buffy's hand before kissing it.

"Scar-tissue's fading, girlfriend."


	30. School Girls and Leather

Title: School Girls and Leather  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Characters: Buffy, Faith, Angel  
Emotion: Cynical  
Rating: R  
Spoilers: Takes place during season 3's 'Beauty and the Beasts'.  
Summary: An extended scene between Buffy in Faith.

* * *

"Nice place. Do you ever catch kids doing the diddy out here?"

Buffy looked around the cemetery. How many nights had Angel brought her here and they wound up in each other's arms?

"No. There's a spot up by the woods. That's usually where the kids go."

Angel had never brought her there. Actually, no guy had ever brought her there. Then again, she wasn't a kid, was she? She caught Faith studying her with a smirk.

"Yeah? Bet you and Scott have been up there, kicking the gearshift," she said with a grin.

Buffy frowned a bit. Did she detect a hint of bitterness in Faith's tone? She swept her gaze over the brunette. She was smiling that cocky smile and wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. A bit flirty, sure. But she couldn't find any of the coldness she thought she'd heard.

"Hardly," Buffy answered. "Only been on a few dates." Sweet, tender, and totally lacking any sort of passion dates.

She wondered for a moment if she'd become so used to facing life and death with Angel (or _because_ of Angel) that she was mistaking fear and angst for passion. Who was she to say that Scott wasn't passionate? Maybe normal people didn't have that 'I might die with you or because of you' sort of love. Maybe normal love was something... different.

"But you like him."

Faith's voice interrupted her thoughts, thankfully.

"And when you think about him you get that..." the brunette inhaled deeply and Buffy shivered at the sight of it.

"...good, low-down tickle, right?"

Buffy swallowed loudly. She was certainly starting to get a good, low-down tickle now, as Faith's eyes darkened. The blonde averted her gaze and smiled shyly.

"Yeah, I guess, but..." She felt Faith's eyes boring into her and shuddered. She gave the other Slayer a look and smiled slightly.

"How low?" she asked, and then bit her tongue. Was she flirting back with Faith? Even the younger Slayer looked a bit surprised at her response.

Grinning broadly, Faith answered, "You tell me."

The bait was out there. All Buffy had to do was bite.

The blonde blushed crimson as she caught herself. How could she go from mourning Angel, to considering her relationship with Scott, to flirting with Faith in less than five minutes? And why was it that she had more fun exchanging flirty banter with her than with her own boyfriend?

Once again, Buffy found herself questioning her sanity a bit. Maybe she _did_ need to see the school counselor.

She finally shook her head a bit and smiled. "How about not?"

She could sense the brunette's disappointment, but chose to focus on the subject at hand. They were discussing her relationship with Scott, not her subconscious need to flirt with another girl. She imagined Scott's sweet smile and sighed.

"But he is...nice. And funny." And kind of dull.

"And quite a muffin," Faith supplied.

"Blueberry. That crunchy, munchy stuff on top. But my most favorite thing so far is that he doesn't seem to be any kind of Hell Beast."

At least, that's what she tried to tell herself. She wanted to lead a somewhat normal life now, and that meant normal, healthy dating habits. No lusting after evil vampires or seductive Slayers. Faith probably thought Scott was 'vanilla' or whatever.

To her surprise, Faith laughed. Buffy looked over at her, startled.

"All men are beasts, Buffy."

The blonde cocked an eyebrow. "Okay, I was hoping to not get that cynical until at least forty."

Faith shrugged and looked away. "It's not cynical. I mean, it's realistic. Every guy from 'Manimal' down to Mr. 'I Love The English Patient' has beast in him," she defended.

Buffy saw her jaw tense as she continued. "And I don't care how sensitive they act. They're all still just in it for the chase."

She could sense that Faith was speaking from experience and it broke her heart a little. She knew that Faith was right. She just couldn't bring herself to admit it.

"What about us, though?"

Faith looked over at her, confused. "Huh?"

"Girls. Are we beasts, too?"

Faith studied her for a minute before smiling that dark, beautiful smile. "Oh Twinkie, we're way worse."

"We are?"

The brunette's eyes swept over Buffy, taking in her form. "Oh yeah. Because we're beasts, alright. But we come as Beauty. They never see it comin'," she purred.

Taking in Faith's dark eyes, supple body and full lips curved into a dangerous smile, Buffy felt her breath catch in her throat.

"All school girls are really dominatrixes in leather, B. And I bet you'd look great in a corset," she murmured before strolling away with a grin.

Buffy tried to ignore the heat that had settled in her lower stomach and tread after her, images of Faith in a school girl outfit filling her mind.

Faith was wrong though, she thought. Because she could see Faith was trouble from a mile away. She just couldn't help herself.


	31. Shattered

Title: Shattered  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Rating: R  
Characters: Faith, Buffy, Angel, Riley  
Emotion: Depressed  
Spoilers: Set during season 4's 'This Year's Girl'.  
Summary: Faith's thoughts after spying on Buffy.

* * *

_How long have I been in this storm?_  
_I'm so overwhelmed by the oceans she brings forth._  
_Water's getting harder to tread_  
_With these waves crashing over my head._  
_If I could just see you, everything would be alright._  
_If I could see you, this darkness would turn to light._  
- "Storm" by Lifehouse

After finding the school in shambles, Faith only had one thing in mind: revenge.

It was a bit hard to find her counterpart at first. She could feel her everywhere in the town. After eight months in a coma, it was a little difficult to differentiate between what had been a dream and what was reality. Was Angel still in town? Would she be at the mansion? Was it their connection she felt, or was it the adrenaline from waking up and finding her whole world shattered?

Seeing the school in its condition helped a little. The Mayor was dead. That was a reality. Their grand plan had failed. That was real. The anger and pain she felt pulsing through her veins was real.

As she neared the old Watcher's apartment, she felt her heart beat faster and another shiver ran down her spine. There was no mistaking that sensation. The Slayer she was looking for was definitely there.

She made no noise as she padded across the courtyard and over to a window. She peered inside and found herself looking at his living room. The Scooby Gang was gathered 'round, having a discussion. Everyone looked a bit older, and it was a shock to her system. Willow and Xander were looking good. Giles looked a bit tired. And...

Her eyes locked onto the blond woman perched beside a clean-cut looking guy.

Her heart stopped as her breath caught in her throat.

Buffy looked a bit older, but not by much. Her body was a bit slimmer and her hair was a few inches longer, but she was still beautiful.

Faith remembered all the conflicting dreams. Their friendly conversations, sometimes even intimate encounters. Making the bed together afterward until it became second-nature. The way the light played on Buffy's soft, tanned skin in the mornings and lazy afternoons. Faith's heart ached at the memory of them.

She watched as the older Slayer wrapped an arm around the new guy and leaned down to press a kiss against his forehead. She did it so naturally, she wasn't even sure if Buffy was aware she'd done it.

Her own forehead tingled. Had Buffy kissed her like that, too? Or was that another coma-dream? She remembered feeling something like that once, but everything was so hazy and fragmented.

She watched the new guy place his hand on Buffy's knee, and Faith felt her pale face flush with anger. Fuck the stupid coma-dreams and phantom kisses! Her dreams of Buffy weren't always sunshine and rainbows. She remembered how almost every night for eight months the older woman had invaded her mind and gutted her. She'd died hundreds of times, lost the only father-figure she'd ever had just as many, and all the while the self-righteous cunt that put her there had forgotten all about her!

She knew that they had had a dream together somehow, and that Faith had helped her. She had been so at peace that she had let her guard down and Buffy had seen the deepest recesses of her mind. She'd given Buffy the information she needed to kill the Mayor. She'd tricked Faith into killing her only friend.

Not only had Buffy forgotten about her, but she wasn't even with the guy she'd nearly killed Faith to save! She was fucking some run-of-the-mill frat boy! Faith had been wasting away in a dilapidated wing of the hospital while that blond bitch was spreading for some corn-fed fuck.

She clenched her fists, her nails cutting into her palms.

She hated herself even more for wanting more than anything to be the one on the couch beside her. She wanted so badly to be inside that apartment, safe and warm and wanted. And where was she now? On the outside looking in, just like she always was.

Faith caught a glimpse of her own reflection in the window and felt her anger deflate. Staring back at her was someone she didn't even recognize. She hadn't taken a good look at herself since she'd woken up. She knew she'd have bed-head, but she didn't expect everything else.

She didn't expect to see colorless lips. She didn't expect to see her skin so pale. She was never tan, but the only person she'd ever seen that pale (besides vampires) was the man she'd killed. The first man, anyway. The accident. She didn't stick around to see the Professor bleed out.

Her stomach clenched at the memory of them. Finch had been an accident, yes. And the Professor... She'd done what she had to do.

Still...

For a half a moment, she couldn't bring herself to look into her own eyes. She was afraid of what she'd see there.

When she finally looked at the reflection of her eyes, she was crushed to see someone so broken looking back at her. So wounded, suspicious, angry, hateful and afraid. It made her feel sick. A very tiny part of her wondered if she might cry, but she knew she was too far gone to summon the tears. Somehow, that knowledge made everything worse.

She heard the phone inside ring, and saw Giles stand to answer it. Fearing that she might be seen, she ducked her head down slipped back into the shadows. She got what she wanted. Buffy and the others were still in town, and she had a new love interest. A _human_ love interest. Someone much more fragile and easier to exploit.

She wrapped the stolen sweater around herself as she walked away, deep in thought. Her mind began thinking of ways to hurt the blond that caused her all of this pain, while her heart screamed at her to just walk away. To hop on the next bus out of town and just leave this impending disaster behind.

She couldn't, though. She might tell herself that it was because she needed to get her revenge, but deep down, she knew it was because Buffy had been the focus of her world for more than a year. She loved and hated the woman. One way or another, it was going to end. Either she'd wipe the bitch off the face of the earth, or Buffy would make sure she'd never wake up.

Anything had to be better than the world she woke up to.


	32. Don't Look Away

Author's Notes: This chapter contains sexual content. It's also the first detailed sex scene I've ever written. Gah!  
Title: Determined  
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Rating: NC-17  
Characters: Faith, Buffy, Angel  
Emotion: Determined  
Spoilers: Set during season 3's 'Consequences'.  
Summary: What happened after Faith announced that she 'didn't care'.

* * *

_"I don't care!"_

Buffy was at a loss for words for a few moments. She didn't care? Of course Faith cared! She'd seen the brunette's resolve crumble when she looked at the photograph of Finch. She felt remorse for killing him. Buffy knew she did. So to stand there and say that disposing of his body was disposing of the problem, and that she didn't care... Well, it was bullshit!

"I don't believe you," Buffy argued.

Faith crossed her arms over her chest and smirked. "You don't have to believe me, Twinkie. But it's true. I didn't know the guy. It was an accident. I don't give a fuck."

She said it with such a lack of emotion that it cut at the older Slayer inside.

"If you don't care about a man who you killed, then what do you care about?" Buffy shouted, desperate.

Faith flinched slightly before shrugging. "Nothing, really. Now, if you don't mind, I have shit to do," she said, and brushed past her.

Buffy could feel Faith withdrawing, slipping away from her. She watched the younger woman make her way toward the blood-tinged sink and felt her chest contract painfully. Everything was so fucked up, and she had no idea how to fix any of it. The bond she'd felt the past few days with Faith felt like the ghost of a memory, and it killed her. They'd been making some progress in their relationship. Friendship. Whatever it was, it was going somewhere. And now...

Buffy reached out a grabbed Faith's arm. The brunette spun around to shout at her, only to be silenced by the blond's lips crashing against her own. She moved to shove Buffy off of her, but the older Slayer would have none of it. Instead, Faith found herself shoved up against the wall. Her head cracked against it painfully and the air was forced from her lungs, but she barely took any notice. She was too busy cupping Buffy's face and angling it to kiss her deeper.

She could feel the desperation and pain in Buffy's kiss and mirrored it with her own. When Buffy opened her mouth to take a breath, Faith slipped her tongue inside to taste her. The moan she received was almost enough to make her come right then and there, but the tension building was delicious.

She finally mustered the focus to shove Buffy back a bit before ripping her coat off and tossing it away. She brought her hands to the blond's hips and hiked her dress up to her waist before grabbing her thighs and lifting her up. Buffy automatically wrapped her legs around Faith's middle and her arms around her neck.

She grunted as the cool wall met her back. She'd had no idea what she was thinking when she kissed Faith. She just didn't want the younger woman to turn her back on whatever they'd had. The kiss just sort of happened. Just like Faith grinding against her core was just sort of, well, happening. She didn't understand what was happening, and she didn't care. She just needed some sort of confirmation that Faith wasn't going to abandon their connection. That she wasn't going to run.

One hand grasped and squeezed Buffy's ass while the other yanked down a dress strap, exposing a breast. The blond's nipples were already painfully hard when the brunette tilted her face down to take one into her mouth. Buffy's breath hitched as Faith worked the sensitive nub with her tongue and teeth. Countless nights Faith had imagined what it would be like to finally fuck Buffy Summers. In every fantasy she'd taken her time. Well, fuck fantasies. She didn't know why Buffy came onto her, but she wasn't going to give her a chance to change her mind.

Her hips continued their assault against Buffy's center, and Faith could sense how worked up she was. Using the wall as leverage, she slid her hand from the blond's ass to her core. She could feel how wet she was through her panties and growled against Buffy's breast. She tore them away before sliding two fingers inside her.

Buffy shouted at the invasion, but made no move to stop her. She'd only been with one other person besides Faith, and he had been so gentle with her. He treated her like she was a piece of glass he'd been making love to. Faith wasn't gentle. She didn't care if Buffy broke. If anything, she pushed her to her limits and then past them.

Faith's fingers took up a brutal and relentless rhythm, and it wasn't long before Buffy's hips were assisting her in her effort to get her off. Buffy tangled her fingers in the brunette's hair and she shut her eyes tightly as she felt her orgasm building.

_Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck..._

"Jesus, B... So fucking _tight_..."

Hearing Faith's voice, thick and raspy with want sent Buffy over the edge. She shrieked as she came hard, her pussy clamping down on Faith's fingers painfully. Even as Buffy rode her orgasm, she never stopped thrusting her fingers in and out of her, determined to draw it out for as long as possible.

As Buffy came down from her high, she opened her eyes to see Faith looking at her with eyes black with lust. Hoping her legs wouldn't fail her, she unwrapped herself from Faith's waist and let her feet touch the floor. The brunette's fingers left her, only to disappear inside her mouth. Buffy's breath hitched at the sight before she grabbed her and threw her onto the bed.

Before Faith had time to protest, Buffy had yanked open Faith's jeans and slipped a hand inside.

_Black. Faith always wears black. Always something so fucking dark in her..._

With her free hand, Buffy pinned Faith's wrists to the bed above her head. By the way the brunette struggled, she was sure that no one else was ever on top before.

Tough.

Buffy wasn't surprised to feel that Faith wasn't wearing underwear. She wondered briefly if the younger woman even owned a pair. She was greeted with a slickness that destroyed any hesitation she might have had. Locking eyes with Faith, she slid her fingers into her. The brunette's eyes widened in surprise.

Faith had always pegged Buffy as a submissive, but the blond was proving her wrong. If anything, she gave as good as she got. The blond's fingers were just as relentless as Faith's had been. She wished Buffy had taken two seconds to pull her pants down instead of just undo them. She wanted to spread her thighs wider, allow the blond to go deeper. As it was, her orgasm was building, but it was slow and torturous.

"Buffy, _please_," she whined, desperate.

Buffy's green eyes were piercing. "You care, Faith."

_No._

"Yes, you do," she argued, seeing the argument in Faith's eyes.

"B..."

"Say it!"

She felt herself hurtling towards the edge and shut her eyes against it.

"Fuck! I care! _I fucking care!_"

Her whole body tightened and spasmed as she came. Buffy took the opportunity to lean down and capture Faith's lips with her own again, sucking on her lower lip.

After a few moments, Buffy leaned back and removed her hand from Faith's pants. She stared at the wetness covering her fingers in awe before looking down at the woman beneath her. Faith looked up at her, at a loss for words.

"I knew you cared," Buffy murmured.

Faith sat up, still breathing heavily, and buttoned and zipped her jeans. She turned her face away, knowing she couldn't look Buffy in the eye at that moment.

"I was about to come, B. I would've said anything you told me to."

Buffy's heart broke.

"But..."

"Get out of here. Go to school. We have a meeting with the British Duo soon," Faith told her.

Buffy swallowed the tears that threatened to fall as she adjusted her clothes and fixed her hair. She walked to the bathroom to wash her hands of Faith's scent, and found herself staring at the red water and the bloody shirt next to it.

"B."

Buffy looked up at the other woman with wide eyes.

"Go wash your hands at school."

Faith held her coat out to her, and Buffy took it after a moment. The brunette opened the door for her and ushered her out. Buffy paused before leaving.

"I know you care."

Faith didn't reply and shut the door, locking it behind her.


	33. Poking At Pride

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Rating:PG-13  
Characters: Faith, Buffy  
Emotion: Devious  
Spoilers: Set after season 3's 'Helpless'.  
Summary: Faith enjoys Buffy's lack of slayer strength.

* * *

Buffy eyed Faith enviously.

The brunette was hitting her watcher's padded hands with a speed and strength that the blonde no longer possessed. _It's only temporary_, she reminded herself for the millionth time. In a few days she'd be back to her regular, Slayer-self. She just had to get used to taking a back seat to Faith until then.

While the two had made amends and were no longer enemies, it really got under Buffy's skin for some reason. Seeing Faith as the favored one always bothered her. Giles was _her_ watcher. This should be _her_ training session, too. _She_ should be patrolling tonight, too. Not just Faith.

After a particularly hard punch, Giles hissed and backed off. "Very good, Faith. You seem to be in excellent shape. Just watch your left shoulder. You keep dropping it," he critiqued. Faith nodded, panting lightly. Giles removed the padded gloves and moved to his office.

Faith looked over at Buffy and caught the look of jealousy. She smirked and Buffy flushed. Her eyes flashed with guilt and humiliation for a moment.

"See something ya like, B?" she teased.

Buffy looked away, ashamed of being caught. "Just eager to get my powers back," she replied.

The brunette nodded and cracked her knuckles. "I hear ya. Patrols haven't been nearly as fun with you gone."

The blond perked up a bit. "Really?"

Faith shrugged. "It's boring without someone to talk to. On the other hand, it has been kinda nice to just cut loose."

Buffy frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you're little miss 'structured slay'. Count to three, one-two punch, dust, move on. It's nice to actually have a little fun with it. I missed the excitement."

Buffy's gaze darkened considerably.

Faith knew very well that she was goading the other Slayer now. She was truthful when she said she missed having Buffy patrolling with her. And she'd been more than pissed off when she'd heard what the Council had done to her. Buffy put her life on the line every night and they nearly get her killed to see if she deserved the powers she was given? It was bullshit!

The moment she'd seen Buffy in the library the next day, bruised and cut to hell, she'd felt for her. Faith had been in that condition more times than she cared to remember, and she knew the older girl's ego was suffering, too. She'd been as kind as she could about it, but seeing Buffy jealous of her for once was something she just couldn't pass up.

"Sorry if I don't go looking to get myself killed," the blond growled. Faith shrugged.

"Hey man, I'm all for comin' home alive and kickin'. I'm just sayin' that it's nice to get the blood pumping a little, y'know?"

"Whatever."

She grabbed a towel and began to wipe the sweat off of her chest, arms and face. Buffy averted her gaze and stood to leave. She winced as she knelt down to pick up her backpack, and Faith walked over to help her. She lifted the heavy backpack with ease and slung it over her back. Buffy opened her mouth to argue and Faith cut her off.

"Mind if I carry your books for you, cutie?" she winked.

Buffy's eyes widened as she blushed crimson. Faith tilted her head to the side and smiled. "Can I walk you home, Miss Summers? These books are awful heavy and I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

The blond's eyes narrowed. She thought about arguing, but Faith was right. She had a ton of homework to do, which meant her bag was full to the brim and ridiculously heavy. She sighed and shrugged.

"Yeah, sure."

Faith grinned brightly and began to walk beside her, making sure to keep her pace slow, even though she felt like skipping.

"Thanks for letting me carry your books for you, Miss Slayer."

"Faith?"

"Yeah, B?"

"You tell anyone that I needed help, and I'll kick your ass."

"I dunno, B. With your strength all gone, I think it'd turn into a spanking more than a beating. But, if that's what you're into..."

"Shut up."


End file.
